chapter 31

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After we had thoroughly washed every crevice that blood had seeped its way into, we emptied and refilled the water. It left with little soap in the water to conceal our bodies any longer. I couldn't help but stare at him as he lazily draped his arms over the ledge of the tub and locked his striking eyes with mine. His hair was wet and shaggy, his face more youthful than before.

"How old are you?" I raised a curious brow as my legs slid between his and brushed against them.

"Nineteen," he shrugged.

My eyes went wide. "That's it? Really? You are this ruthless and yet you are still a teenager?"

He winked with a confident smirk. "I don't look that old... Do I?"

I analyzed his every feature, soaking every minuscule detail in. "I suppose not. You do look young. You just carry yourself with something much more weathered."

"So do you."

"At least we will stop aging in a few years," I forced a smile.

"Maybe our bodies, but I feel our souls are much older than we know. This sort of heaviness takes time to grow."

"Do you ever wonder where we came from? Blix seems to be convinced that we are something worth noting..." I asked curiously, not caring enough to really dive too deeply into it in hopes to avoid any unnecessary stress or unpleasant feelings. I had enough already.

He shook his head. "I don't wish to entertain whatever agenda Blix has. The male is old and ornery, so bored with his eternal existence that he feels the need to fill his time with petty entertainment at the expense of others."

I decided against asking any further questions. I agreed with him.

"I don't know how I've managed to keep my hands to myself with all of this art displayed before me," I gestured to his naked body, my eyes fighting the urge to trail below the clear water's surface.

His eyes darkened. "I am not trying to seduce you, Helena."

"Well if you were, it would be working," I nearly stuttered, shoving myself to my feet.

I had a handful of casual hookups in my life. There was Arthur, which happened too many times to count. Before him there was the servant, I never even got the male's name. There was my first time with a boy from another court, the one I had to kill. My first kill. Then there was the one drunken hookup with a male who had brought a message to our kingdom from Dragon Hills. The male had wings. Real, leathery wings, and he was quite the expert in bed. Yet, surveying Death Bringer naked before me built so much tension and unease within that I was certain lying with him would be earth-shattering and impossible to come back from. I knew that once I gave in, there would be no going back. Something about it made me feel anxious and cowardly, enough to stalk my way out of the tub and wrap myself in a towel, desperately trying to distract myself by looking for shapes in the clouds outside the cracked window.

I heard him rise as the water dripped down his body. I was envious of all of the ways that the water knew him better than I did, yet it did not change the direction of my firmly planted feet. His feet pattered against the floor, splashing in the small puddles of spilled water and soap.

"Have I done something to set you at unease?"

My throat was dry. "Of course not. You just... My mind has difficulty catching up with this new reality. This reality where you exist and look at me the way you do. It is overwhelming."

I heard as he neared, the heat radiating off of his body from behind me. "I understand what you are feeling. I feel it, too."

My body pivoted to face him. A towel was wrapped around his waist and his skin was still glistening with droplets of water. He looked like royalty.

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