chapter 33

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While you all (yourself, Suho, Juyeong and Jugyeong's father) sit down to make the dumplings you can feel Suho's eyes on you, the boy looking over at you every so often. You can tell he's probably still curious about what happened on the trip, when he saw you crying before you ran off and had that horrible panic attack. You haven't really spoken since the trip so he wasn't able to check in on you and he could tell you felt awkward, so it was obvious that you clearly didn't want to talk about it.

You knew he wanted to ask, but you're appreciative of the fact that he doesn't pry, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. He's just worried for his friend. He's never seen you cry before, in all the time he's known you, so seeing you look so distraught really threw him off that day. You were grateful - you knew that if you wanted to talk to him about it you could, and the thought in itself was comforting enough for you.

After a while Juyeong decides to take a shower while his father spends some time cleaning the dishes in order to make the next batch when his wife returns, so the two of you sit quietly while continuing to make the dumplings together. You use this opportunity to speak up.
"I like Seojun," you mumble to Suho quietly, not looking up while you speak. You let out a sad, pained smile at the fact that you admitted it.

Suho's eyes widen as he looks over at you. This is the first time you have spoken to him since the trip, and also what you just admitted shocks him. He always knew you probably felt that way about Seojun. After all, it was the only logical explanation for what happened and the way you reacted. But it was different to hear you actually telling him how you feel.

"It's fine though," you sigh and lean back slightly when you finish with the dumpling you were just assembling, finally looking over to see him looking at you. You force a smile. "I'm fine," you reassure him, but from his expression you can tell he feels bad. "Seriously, don't worry about me. Stop looking at me like that," you shove him lightly, trying to laugh it off. He smiles lightly in response.
"I'm here if you ever need to talk, okay?" he says, and you nod with a grateful smile. The two of you don't speak very often, but you do cherish your friendship with each other. You know that if you ever needed anything, or if you were in any kind of trouble, you could rely on him. You find comfort in his words.

Once Juyeong is out of the shower he sits back down to continue helping with the dumplings, and you poke his nose with your flour-covered hands. He whines in annoyance, wiping his face, which only makes you laugh. Suho smiles a little at the sight of you clearly feeling a little better after opening up to him a little.

You're drinking some water when Jugyeong's mother returns from her grocery trip and Jugyeong is with her, but when you see Seojun entering behind them you almost spit out the water.
"Oh, I forgot to mention that our darling Y/N and Suho are here too!" she tells her daughter and Seojun.
You cough for a few moments, and if it wasn't for the tense atmosphere you probably would've laughed at the fact that this is now the second time you've done this. Suho pats your back lightly to try to help your coughs subside, and when they do you look back at the three people standing in the doorway.

Jugyeong's mother had seen Seojun with her daughter when she was on her way back home from checking the salon, and after greeting him she invited him over to enjoy some dumplings together. She just thought that because you were at their house it might be nice to have him there, since she knew you two were close. However, she doesn't tell Seojun that you're there, so he's just as shocked when he enters and sees you and Suho seated at the table making dumplings. His heart stutters when he sees you looking at him in shock.

"It's so nice to have all of Jugyeong's friends joining us today!" she says, clapping her hands together in excitement as she walks over to the kitchen, and you gulp.
"Why is he literally everywhere," you whisper to yourself, but Suho catches it. He glances over at you, feeling bad that you have to go through this. Jugyeong too, she didn't know you were at her house otherwise she would've insisted that he go home, and she feels so guilty that you're so clearly uncomfortable.

She looks over at Seojun only to see his longing stare - she still can't believe how dense he is that he hasn't realised his feelings yet. Seojun doesn't know how to feel in that moment. All he knows is that he absolutely hates not talking to you, and he just wants his best friend back in his life.

The silence while you all sit around the living room table making dumplings is so awkward it makes you want to crawl into a hole. You're sitting between Suho and Jugyeong's brother, not looking up, while Seojun keepings staring from where he's sitting opposite you. Jugyeong's mother, not noticing the tension in the room, excitedly works on the dumplings, happy that everyone is together.

"Wah, my Jugyeong sure is lucky to have two handsome friends," she says, in awe of the fact that she has so many good looking people in her house at the same time. She turns to her daughter. "Make sure to stay friends with them so you can choose one to date in college, okay?" she tells her, almost like she's scolding her. You swallow as you sit there awkwardly, still not looking up from what you're doing. Jugyeong tries to get her mum to stop, both her and Suho glancing over at you in worry, but her mother is persistent.

When you finally look up for a moment you make eye contact with her, and she throws you an apologetic look. You smile lightly to reassure her, shaking your head lightly as if to say it's okay, before getting up. Everyone looks at you, but you just force a smile as you offer to start cooking some dumplings for everyone to start eating.

Jugyeong's mother asks Seojun and Suho to grab an extra table from upstairs so there's more space to eat, and the boys immediately get up to find it. Suho lags slightly behind, watching Seojun with irritation as he looks for the table. However, when Seojun brings up his relationship with Jugyeong it only causes his anger to rise. Now that he knows he's the reason behind your crying that day, as well as why you've not been yourself lately, Suho can't help but feel protective over his friend.

"By the way, why are you guys fighting already?" Seojun asks with a chuckle, his back turned as he reaches for the table after finally locating it on a shelf. Suho grits his teeth in anger.
"What do you mean, we don't fight."
"If you don't fight then why was she sighing all day debating about whether to choose love or friendship?" The question confuses Suho, but he's so frustrated by Seojun's obliviousness towards you that he doesn't let himself dwell on what Seojun said.

"Don't get involved in something that's not your business," he says, glaring at Seojun.
"Then don't make her worry and come to me for dating advice, it makes me want to steal her from you," Seojun replies confidently. Suho grabs him by the collar, but Seojun's smirk just widens at his actions. "What, am I wrong?"
"What about Y/N?" he asks, causing Seojun's eyebrows to furrow in confusion. "Can't you see the way she feels about you?" The question only works to infuriate Seojun, the boy thinking Suho's just lying to get him to stop liking his girlfriend.

"Don't lie," he scoffs, "as if she would have feelings for me." He swats away Suho's hands that were still on his collar and pushes him back. "She can't even stand being in the same room as me right now."
"Fine, believe what you want. But don't say I didn't warn you." He puts his hands up in defeat, looking at Seojun in disgust. "I always knew you were stupid but I didn't realise it was this serious." That's the last straw for Seojun, the boy surging forward to punch Suho. He doesn't manage to land a punch though, Suho dodging him at the last second.

The boys continue to scuffle, and from downstairs you all hear the commotion, but your questions are answered when they eventually trip and fall down the stairs. Seojun sits up only to see you standing in front of him in shock, a confused yet heartbroken expression on your face at the realisation that they just fought.

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