chapter 37

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You stay in your mother's hospital room for a while, fidgeting with your fingers as you stare at the ground. A million questions are racing through your head, and your mother can see that so she remains quiet. You wonder what happened, how bad their injuries are, and how long it'll take until you can see them.

After a few hours you leave the room to get some water for your mother and also see if you can find out any updates from the nurse, but you freeze in your footsteps when you see Seojun standing with his mother and Gowoon in the corridor. He has a cast around his arm and a plaster on his face, and he's holding an IV drip as he walks them to the lift. They're about to say goodbye to him when they see you standing behind Seojun, slowly taking steps toward him out of shock.

"Oh, sweetheart," his mother says when she sees you, causing Seojun to turn around only to see you standing in front of him. You're a mess.
"Unnie..." Gowoon says, her heart breaking at the state you're in. She's never seen you like this before. You're always so strong and cheery, and she depends and looks up to you a lot, so it's heartbreaking to see her big sister looking like this.

They say their goodbyes to you both quickly, deciding to check on your mum for a while before heading home.
"I'll stay with your mum for now, just stay with Seojun for a bit okay?" You can't even bring yourself to respond, knowing that you will start crying as soon as you open your mouth, still looking at Seojun with unshed tears.

When his mother and sister leave, Seojun steps closer to you. You finally take the opportunity to look at his injuries, noticing the little cuts on his face and the bandage on his other hand.
"Y/-" he's cut off when you surge forward to wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.
"I was so worried," you cry, burying your face into his chest. "I didn't know how bad it was. Are you okay?" you ask, looking up at him with tears rolling down your cheeks.

Seojun is at a loss for words. He slowly brings his hand up to rest it against the back of your head, trying his best to return the hug.
"I'm okay," he whispers, ignoring how fast his heart is beating at the contact. He walks you back to his hospital room so that you can finally sit down, and you smile sadly when you see Suho laying in bed. He reassures you that he's fine, aside from the broken leg, and you nod.

You help Seojun into his bed and sit with him for a little while, before getting up.
"I'm just going to check on my mum," you tell him, reassuring him that you will be back soon and telling him to get some rest since he must be exhausted after everything that happened. He nods with a little smile, already starting to fall asleep. You brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes before throwing Suho a small smile, and leaving to go to your mother's room. Luckily the two rooms are in the same ward and only a short walk away from each other, so you don't have to go far.

You stay with your mother for a while as she starts to fall asleep, playing with her hand which you're holding in your own.
"I'm okay," you hear her whisper, and you look at her in confusion, "go to him." She can tell you're about to argue, but she insists with a reassuring smile. You nod hesitantly before standing up, making sure the blanket is covering her properly and that she's comfortable, placing a kiss onto her cheek before you leave.

You walk into the boys' room, the door already open, only to see Jugyeong sitting at Suho's bedside. You're about to say her name, but when you realise she hasn't got any makeup on you stay quiet. Greeting them both softly you walk over to sit beside Seojun, the two of you talking quietly while you sit with him. When Jugyeong announces that she's going to head home shortly after, you stand up, offering to walk her out.

The two of you sit on a bench nearby for a while, before you open your mouth to apologise.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about the accident," you say, feeling guilty for forgetting to call her about it. "I just had so much on my mind with my mum being in here and then when Seojun got brought in I jus-"
"It's okay," Jugyeong cuts you off with a hug, and you relax before returning it. She leans back with a smile. "How's your mum doing?" she asks.

"She's regained her consciousness but she's been sleeping a lot, she must be exhausted after what happened," you explain, forcing a smile, but she sees through your facade immediately.
"Hey," she says, and you look up at her, "you don't have to pretend like you're okay all the time, you know that right?" When she sees you beginning to tear up she sighs sadly before pulling you into another hug, and you just cling to her as you cry into her shoulder for a few minutes.

"I was so scared," you say, and she rubs your back to help calm you down. "I spent all this time avoiding him and then when my mum had the heart attack he was the first person I went to. He helped me through it, he stayed with me and checked in all the time, and today he ended up coming to the hospital because he got injured himself."

"Two of the people I care about most in this world are both in the hospital right now," you say, finally leaning back from the hug but holding her hand to comfort yourself. You look down as you continue speaking, "I just avoided him because I couldn't handle knowing that he doesn't feel the same way. I just wanted to get over him, but I couldn't. All this time my feelings for him have just been growing stronger, and when I found out he got hurt," you pause for a second, the memory upsetting you, "I thought I was going to die." Jugyeong looks up at you with tears of her own running down her cheeks, heart aching at how much her friend is suffering. She listens to you pouring your heart out sadly, but it's the words that follow that cause her to look at you in shock.
"Jugyeong," you take a breath, "I love him."

You look up at Jugyeong with wide eyes at the realisation, your words shocking you both, before her expression changes to a soft smile. You can't believe what you just admitted to yourself, but you know it's true. You really do love Seojun, you are so in love with him that you don't even know what to do with yourself. Jugyeong hugs you with a little laugh, happy that you finally understand how you feel, and you smile in response. For a moment, you just let yourself be happy about the way you feel.

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