chapter 36

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WARNING: angst is my middle name ;)

The days that follow are hectic. Your mother is luckily fine for now, the doctors explaining that they will need to keep her admitted in the hospital for a while to keep her under observation, and also to keep an eye on if her cancer is something that needs to be worried about. So far they seem hopeful, which is a relief to you. You don't mind staying in the hospital with her, having gotten used to it after the countless hospital visits in the past. The staff quickly take a liking to you as well, even letting you stay through the night to be with your mother (which isn't usually allowed).

Seojun stays with you in the hospital while you stay with your mother, the boy knowing better than anyone how scary and lonely it is to be in hospital with a family member. It must be even scarier for you since your mother is the only family you have left.

After she was transported from the ICU to a patient room, you were finally able to see her after being in the waiting room with Seojun for hours. Seojun had told his mother to go home and get some rest, and reassured her that he will stay with you. She throws you a worried glance and pats your cheek lightly in affection, to which you smile lightly in response, before she heads home.

When you're finally able to see her it's fairly late in the evening and Seojun joins you. You sit beside her bed, holding her hand and just staring at her unconscious features, your face swollen from all the crying and dried tear streaks running down your cheeks. Seojun sits beside you but remains silent as he watches you, knowing you probably don't want to say anything right now. You break the silence shortly after.

"She's the only family I have left," you say, your voice barely audible amongst the beeping of the machines, eyes dazed as you just stare at your mothers hand in yours. "I can't lose her Seojun," you say, and when you turn to him his heart breaks at the sight of fresh tears running down your cheeks. He moves closer to you and reaches for your free hand.

"I didn't know she had cancer," he says solemnly, and you nod while wiping your face slightly.
"She was diagnosed about three years ago. I spent a lot of my time either at school or the hospital. I did all my studying there too while I kept my mum company," you explain, and he listens attentively. "But she underwent chemotherapy and started her remission period a few months before we moved here, and she's okay now. She's been getting better every day, so I don't understand why this happened."

Seojun brings you into a side hug when you start crying again, his chin resting on top of your head while you grip him tightly, sobbing into his chest.
"I'm sorry," you whisper, finally breaking from the lack of contact the two of you have had recently. He's quick to hush your words, his arms tightening around you. You're sorry for avoiding him all this time, and for the way you treated him when all he wanted to do was help.

"I know, it's okay," he says, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair soothingly. "Don't worry about that, it's not important right now. Just focus on your mum, okay?" he says, hands reaching for your cheeks to move you to face him, and you nod while letting out a shaky breath. You turn to look back at your mother tearily, resting your head on Seojun's shoulder while his arm wraps around your shoulder to comfort you. The two of you sit there like that in silence, and it's in that moment that you both know you're okay again, without even needing to say the words.

Seojun wakes up early the following day to see you still asleep, your head resting on the bed with your hand still in your mothers. He decides to go home to get you some food and asks Gowoon to grab a spare change of clothes for you, and by the time you wake up he's already back. You smile gently at the sight of him, and he returns the smile before telling you to freshen up, hoping it might make you feel a little better.

This happens every day while you are in the hospital with your mother, Seojun staying with you to keep you company and getting you whatever you need. He only leaves to get you some food and some more clothes, which Gowoon and his mother help with since they have a spare key to your apartment. Your friends also visit you in the time that you're in the hospital, the first being Jugyeong who rushed over as soon as Seojun called her the day after the incident.

Your mother wakes up after about a day, you and Seojun sitting beside the bed just chatting with your hand in hers when you feel movement. You words fall short and you turn to her in shock at the feeling, looking down to see her hand squeezing yours. You look up to see her looking at you with a soft smile on her face, and the sight brings you to tears. Seojun is quick to run out to get a doctor, and in that time she reaches her hand up to caress your cheek. You cry as you place your hand over hers and close your eyes at the comfort of her touch.
"I'm here baby, I'm here," she says, and you smile through your tears.

It's a few days later when you're sitting beside your mother reading, Seojun sitting on the sofa across the room on his phone, when he receives a phone call.
"Hyung, you need me to do a photoshoot now?" he whines in annoyance, and you look over as he bickers on the phone for a few moments before eventually ending the call. He looks over at you guiltily, not wanting to leave you on your own. Your mother is doing a lot better with each day too, but she sleeps quite a lot. The doctor tells you it's best to let her rest as much as she wants, since she must've been in a lot of pain and it will help her recover better.

"Go, it's okay," you tell him, a reassuring smile on your face. When you can see that he's about to refuse, you continue, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." He nods in agreement finally, albeit reluctantly, before getting up. He grabs his belongings and walks over to pull you into a quick hug, promising that he will be back as soon as he's done, and you nod before watching him leave with a smile.

You're a bit more relaxed now, the doctors seem to be happy with your mother's progress and condition, and they had told you that nothing had resurfaced in terms of her cancer. She was slowly getting better each day, and things between you and Seojun were good too.You spend the next few hours studying, Jugyeong being kind enough to drop off the work that was being done in school while you were gone, so that you can catch up when you have the chance. You let your mum sleep in that time, and when you start to feel hungry you leave the room to look for the cafeteria. But just when you think things are going to be okay, another thing happens.

You manage to find the cafeteria after asking one of the nurses in your mothers ward for help, who instructs you that it's on the bottom floor near the emergency care section. While you walk in the hospital your thoughts are suddenly cut off by a commotion behind you. You turn around to see doctors and nurses running to the entrance of the hospital, before two gurneys are wheeled in. You move to the side so you're completely out of their way as they rush to the emergency room area, but your heart stops at the sight of the familiar jacket of one of the patients.

When you see that the two patients being wheeled in are none other than Seojun and Suho, your entire body freezes and your blood runs cold.
"S-Seojun?" you ask in shock, your body trembling. Your legs work faster than your brain, immediately running to follow them to the emergency room, but when you get to the door one of the nurses stops you.
"I'm sorry, you can't go past this point," she tells you, feeling guilty since she recognises you because of your mother being in the hospital. You watch as the door closes behind the doctors, and you fall to the floor in tears.

"Sweetie, it'll be a few hours," the nurse tells you, "go and be with your mother for now, okay? You can come back to check on them later," she urges, your face still in shock, dried tears evident on your cheeks. You reluctantly leave to head back to your mother after the nurse gently pushes you in the direction of your mothers room, and when you enter your mother panics at the state you're in.

"What's wrong?" she asks worriedly, looking at your face which is pale from shock. You look up at her with watery eyes.
"Seojun and Suho got into an accident, they're in the emergency room right now," you tell her, and her eyes widen. She opens her arms for you to run into, which you do as you burst into tears. Why do I have such terrible luck?

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