𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡 // 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐬

p2 twelve

my awareness came back to me. though i couldn't see anything just pitch black. it felt as if every time i tried to open my eyes someone applied another layer of glue to the lids. anxiety lined my stomach, though its never really left.

my shoulder throbbed in pain. though i didn't really notice it, i was more focused on how to escape my own mind. i had always felt comfort in my own pain. knowing it was me hurting rather than those i loved, i don't feel real sometimes. not unless i'm hurting in someway, not that i want to be in pain.

pain, a curious feeling. some tend to accept it and hope it goes away. for others, it changes them. mental and physical pain.

i attempted at calming myself down, though these thoughts were felt like an echo that never goes away. i was recollecting the events of my life, from the moment nicholas was born to the day i met sherlock. how are my memories more alive than i am? where am i?

its silent. i suppose id take a quiet life.

sherlocks pov:

i sat beside her bed in the hospital wing, my eyes not leaving her for a second. her mother, uncle and brother had just left. i fiddled with the button cufflink of my coat. her breathing was shallow, she looked so peaceful. i just wanted to look into her eyes again, my heaven lies behind them. the way they light up as our fireplace reflects off them as she listens to me ramble about the most stupid things.

her smile could illuminate any room she walked into no matter how she was feeling. she spends so much wanting everyone else to be happy she'd forget about herself.

i admire her face. something she usually does to me. freckles littered her face like a constellation of stars, she enjoys watching the stars. a cut laid upon her nose, though it reminded me of a shooting star.

a slight bit of mascara smudged under her eyes from the previous night. her shoulder covered in a dressing, and a sling used to support her arm.

two small plaits with beads threaded through still could be seen in her sleek brown hair from the night of the ball.

what is it about her? that when my thoughts imagine her i fall deeper in love.

i already missed the way we'd explore each others bodies. not in a sexual way, just to find different birthmarks or scars and share stories about them.

i rigidly placed my hand upon her head, luckily i was sat on her right side and her injury was on the left. i subconsciously stroked my hand through her hair. i smiled to myself slightly.

as i stopped playing with her hair i gripped her hand. my eyes widened as i felt a weak squeeze.

"i miss you already, even though its only been a day. i miss having someone to ramble to and they actually listen." i spoke softly praying she somehow could hear me. "i think enolas going to try working independently again, though id quite like her to join me, well us. i might ask her if you wanted, but you know whats shes like, stubborn as a mule."

i chuckled to myself slightly. "you're mother, uncle and brother all visited. you're mother couldn't stop crying no matter how many times we told her the doctors said you'd be okay. you did tell me she was a huge worrier, but i don't blame her, i cried when i got home last night when i had to leave you in here. i don't think i'd ever like to see you in that state again. you look peaceful now though, glad someone can sleep. you look very pretty. i love looking at you. i know when you wake up you'll still have a smile on your face."

"where do you get all your hope? i admire you very much matilda. that night of the argument doesn't leave my mind. though you already forgave me i still don't know why i can't forgive myself. when i first told you i loved you, i meant it with my whole heart, and when you ran out i was sad but i didn't blame you. i realised i loved you when all of my decisions began to revolve around you. you would be my only though at night, my first thought in the morning and even when id wake up in the middle of the night. and you know what tilly, you still are. you make me feel like a child in a sweet shop, though i know im yours the thought still makes me feel all giddy. you're always able to always keep your heart warm no matter how cold someone has been to you. i look up to you, you're an inspiration to me and others. like a lightbulb or something."

i felt another weak squeeze against my hand. i grinned widely and kissed the back of her hand. i quickly wiped away the tear that was on the verge of falling.

my head quickly looked up to face her again as i noticed her eyes beginning to flutter like she was trying to open them. she began twitching slightly like she was trying to escape a bad dream. my eyebrows furrowed and i rubbed her forearm trying to relax her.

once she finally stopped i let out the breath i didn't realise i was holding. i stared at her anxiously, her eyes finally deciding to opening. just as i thought she would she smiled widely.

"you'd think Shakespeare was in the room with your speech." she muttered with a grin. i laughed and kissed her forehead. "i love you."

"i love you too tilda."

she turned her head over, hissing in pain slightly. she raised her eyebrows as she took in her surroundings. i noticed her eyes landing on her arm in a sling. "was it really that bad." she motioned to her arm then the ward.

"tilly, you were sliced with the man's sword. im surprised you didn't loose your arm or even die." i replied. she just snickered.

"bloody hurt to be fair." i shook my head at her bluntness with a smirk. "can you help me sit up please." she looked at me with pleading eyes.

i stood up and held her hand and placing my other hand behind her back. when she sat up she let go and scooted back.

"when are we allowed to leave then?" she said eagerly. "i tell you this bed is highly uncomfortable."

"i'll go tell the nurse you're awake." i said standing up to find the nurse.

————————-
idek how to tell you how happy i am, 13.5k read is like a dream come true. idk how ive done it lol, im not the best writer so im so glad you all enjoy this book. i appreciate all the comments and votes more than you think. ily all so so much.
-evieꨄ