Lucy was had been cleared by the station's psychologist and had been back on active patrol duty for just over three weeks. She was fine. Or at least she was trying to convince herself that she was. She didn't want to give Sergeant Grey any reason not to take her off of duty again.
She was careful not to complain about anything. Whether it was a tough case, a rude civilian, or even just being tired. She could feel Tim watching her like a hawk since even before she was back at the station full time. She knew he texted Jackson and John for updates even though all three men denied it, and she knew he was scrutinizing every move she made while riding with him.
She knew he had been doing his best to avoid taking calls that would lead them to the hospital. In fact, one day last week, when he couldn't avoid it, he had made up some trivial task for her to complete in the shop so that he was in and out before she had time to follow him. Lucy was the daughter of two therapists. She knew how to identify and handle triggers, or at least she liked to think that she did.
It wasn't that it bothered Lucy, really, she appreciated her TO's thoughtfulness, but she hated feeling like someone had to "be gentle" with her or that she needed "taking care of." She already felt the need to prove herself as strong enough to be in the LAPD because she was a rookie and because she is a woman, but she felt like she has more to prove now that people around her assume that she isn't mentally stable enough to be back on shift. She wanted to be trusted again. She wanted Tim to trust her again.
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Tim could tell something was off with his rookie when she walked in. She held her head forward and didn't make eye contact with anyone When she sat down in her seat next to West and Nolan, she sort of slumped in a way that looked like she had been on her feet for hours. He didn't even realize how intently he was staring at her every move before Detective Lopez jabbed him with an elbow in the side "You should take a picture of the back of your boot's head, it will last longer" she chided as Tim gave his best friend a scowl. "She doesn't look good" he mumbled turning his attention back in front of him. "Pro tip for you, I wouldn't probably wouldn't use that at a conversation starter when you get in the shop" Angela roller her eyes. "Lopez" Tim groaned "I mean if you are looking to pick a fight first thing in the morning, then be my—" "I mean she looks sick" Tim cut her off with a frown. Angela puffed out a breath and looked at the rookie who was leaning her forehead against the tips of her fingers while her elbows rested on the desk. "Oh, you're right" she frowned, dropping her sarcastic tone.
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Following Sergeant Grey's orders, Tim could tell that Lucy was doing her best to hold her head up high and keep up with the banter between the other two rookies. She was focusing so hard on her conversation that she didn't even notice Tim slip away to prep the shop, which was her job. By the time she went to the counter to get the war bags, Tim was already back. "I loaded them today, Boot." "But, uh, that's my job" Lucy stuttered searching Tim's face to see if he could give her a clue as to why he took her job "I'm feeling nice today" he snapped "don't push it." "Yes, sir" she smiled gratefully and walked with him out to the garage. "Great." she thought "just one more thing I am not trusted to do on my own."
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Lucy held her own on their shift. Tim couldn't argue that. It didn't stop him from worrying about her the entire time though. She was right where she needed to be at every call, and, while they were tending to civilians, he honestly couldn't tell anything was wrong. It wasn't until she got back into the passenger seat of the shop that her body would nearly deflate, and she looked utterly exhausted. Her face was flushed and her brown eyes that were usually bright and alert were glossy and distant. "Chen, what's up with you today?" Tim asked. "Nothing, I just—" "No, Lucy, I want the real answer."
