Playing for Real - Book 2

Chapter 13

Quinn 

I'm in a bad way, hard up, feeling things I shouldn't, and I'm not even bothering with denial any more. Being near Cash, especially after he opened his heart to me, obliterates any other wariness I had of his past, and being trapped with him in his condo makes me want to fall back into his warm, familiar embrace. I can smell his sweet, familiar scent—honey, cinnamon, and peppermint toothpaste on his breath. I can feel his eyes on me as I tidy his condo and make us lunch.

After he took some Tylenol and lay down on his bed because he was feeling weak and dizzy, I lay on his couch, thinking about our past, present mess, and maybe future. I think of how much he hurt me but how much I've missed him, too, and I wonder if I could ever give him a second chance. I think about him pouring his heart out to me last night and then the two of us falling asleep together on his bed. After all, without Cash, my sleep has been restless. God, I've missed the way he spoons me. While he naps, I find myself antsy and pacing around his condo, so I leave and head to Annie's Teahouse, my favourite spot when I come to Santa Anna.

I can see the tall wooden shelves filled with canisters of loose-leaf tea and the rustic counter with the same purple-haired, tattooed girl working at the till through the front windows.

I need an escape. I need somewhere to clear my head and be Cash-free. But what did I expect would happen once I was alone with him? That somehow, between six months ago and now, everything would be forgotten, and we'd be back to how things once were between us?

He lives in Santa Anna. I'm in Boston. He needs to deal with his past mistakes, with his "wife" and their arrangement, and focus on his professional hockey career. I need to focus on my studies and jewelry making, and I need to stop living in a fantasy world and start being honest with myself when it comes to my relationship with Cash. I love him. I do. I don't know how we would ever work.

But all the obstacles I thought would destroy us only months ago don't seem that relevant anymore. Somehow, we've found some easy peace between us since we've been pushed back together. Plus, I believe him when he tells me about Daniela and how she came into his life. I sympathize with the fact that he felt the need to protect her after he lost his brother, Cory. Cash's family is something he's loved, lost, and been trying to protect. And for him to finally tell me everything and help me understand his world it's everything I've wanted from him since the moment I met him.

The little bell rings when I push through the door.

"Quinn?" Vaughn's familiar voice startles me. I look up and see her sipping tea in the back corner.

Oh crap.

She waves over at me. The look on her face was both intrigued and probing. I'm busted. Now I'll have to pretend I'm here for a surprise visit to see my father because why else would I be in Santa Anna? Regardless, Vaughn is going to tell Lyndsey she saw me. And Lyndsey is going to be pissed I didn't tell her I was only three hours away over spring break. She's also going to read through my bullshit and know I'm here for one reason and one reason only...I take a deep, confidence-building breath: I can do this.

Vaughn puts her cup of tea down, grabs her purse, and walks toward me. "Lyndsey didn't mention you'd be in California."

"Yeah," I mutter. "Busted."

My pulse accelerates, thinking about Lyndsey finding out about my staying with Cash. She will not be pleased with my decision, but I feel a half-hearted irritation that she thinks she knows what's best for me. Ugh, I sound pathetic. I'm torn over Cash, but I know Lyndsey would tell me to run for the hills before I ever let him in my life again. And she doesn't even know the half of it.