Playing for Real - Book 2

Chapter 18

Quinn 

Cash takes a nap while I clean his condo. With spring break ending and having to leave for Boston tomorrow morning, I want to ensure his place is spotless and his cupboards are full. With one final swipe along the countertop, I download every memory of this week. I try to enjoy the last few hours of ocean breeze and Cash's soft snores carrying across the condo as he sleeps. I think about how far we've come and how fate brought us back together.

When I open a cupboard, at least five empty whiskey bottles tumble around my feet and onto the floor. What the...? My heart feels like a wild drum beneath my ribs.

He's been drinking.

He's been drinking excessively and hiding it from me. I've smelled whiskey on his breath on two occasions, but I thought those were isolated incidents. I didn't realize it was this bad. The thought of him turning to alcohol again is painful—no, unbearable—when he could be turning to me. It makes me choke inside.

I feel my face flame with anger, and I stumble back to the kitchen table, suddenly feeling like there isn't enough oxygen anywhere. I stare at the empty bottles in front of me, pick them up, and stuff them back into the cupboard.

Why does it feel like my stomach has dropped out, leaving nothing but a hole filled with acid?

I am reeling. My heart splinters into a thousand pieces. Realizing he's still suffering from his addiction tells me he's not okay. His drinking is worse than I ever thought or expected. I blink and wipe my eyes as if I have something in them, not as if I am about to break down on the kitchen floor. He's given me so many chances to walk away, and I've been so sure of making us work that I didn't even comprehend why he would want to push me away. He's been struggling with his demons. I've been so blinded by what I wanted that I never took the opportunity to appreciate that he's been suffering silently, too.

I know what I have to do.

My stomach twists anxiously.

If there is one thing I've learned about falling in love with Cash, it is that you never turn your back on someone you love. You fight for them. You push them to be their best. And you don't let them fall.

___________

I timed it perfectly. Greg Callahan, a former NHL player and one of my father's closest friends, was driving from San Diego to meet us for dinner. Because it was my last night in Santa Anna, Cash and I decided to keep our tradition alive but switch it up by going out for Chinese instead of ordering in.

There is no sense in hiding in his condo now that the world knows we are together, including Lyndsey. After seeing the article, she didn't hesitate to call me this afternoon. She told me my photo was posted on the NHL Players/Girlfriends website. I thought Lyndsey would scold me and be angry like our father about the news, but she wasn't. Instead, she asked me if I was happy. And when I told her I was, she accepted my decision. I updated her on my plans to finish my semester at Harvard with the possibility of transferring to UCLA to be closer to Cash and, of course, her, which made her ecstatic.

When we arrived at Ling Lee's Chinese Restaurant, Cash opened the entry door for me. As we walk inside, my heart beats like a drum. I survey the restaurant for Greg, but he's nowhere to be found. I nervously chew on my bottom lip as Cash follows behind me with his hand on my lower back. The hostess seats us at a table for four in the back corner.

Cash opens a menu and says, "Should we order the usual, or should we go rogue on your last night?"

I smile at him, trying to ignore the twisting pain in my chest, knowing Cash will not be pleased with what I've arranged tonight. He sits across from me, eyes penetrating my calm exterior. Where on earth is Greg?