Amara

Chapter 20 - Check Up

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"Deep inside she knew who she was, and that person was smart and kind and often very funny, but somehow her personality always got lost somewhere between her heart and her mouth, and she found herself saying the wrong thing or, more often, nothing at all."

– Julia Quinn
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Amara's POV:

I can't do it. When he moved his arm, it was like I was back to my old self. The old version of me that would flinch at every move, that would be scared turning every corner. But when I moved in with my dad, with Salvatore, everything changed. I wasn't so scared. I know I had a couple of nightmares here and now, but apart from that my life was better. I mean a lot better.

And I had a dad. Well, I have a dad. He didn't go anywhere. It's just that I dreamed of having my dad in my life. And now I do, I've gone and ruined it.

I lived on the south side my whole life, I had Luke Miller as a stepdad. But this, this singular incident, is what has scared me the most.

And in that moment I didn't know what to do. The flinch was just a subconscious reaction. What I wanted was to run into his arms. For him to hold me and tell me it was all going to be okay. And I fucked it up. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP!

And then when I looked back up all I saw was his face, filled with pain, and I couldn't then take my actions back. I could say "Oh no wait Salvatore. I'm not scared of you at all. Bring it in!"

What am I saying? I totally couldn't have done that. FUCK!

I'm in my room. And I can hear loads of people downstairs. The thought crosses my mind to go downstairs, but then in a moment of perfect timing, I hear a knock at the door. "Hey, can I come in?" Armando asks from the other side of the door.

"Yeah," I say in return.

He walks into the room, a sympathetic look on his face. "Your dad wants you downstairs. He wants a doctor to check you out," he tells me.

"He's mad at me," I say, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "No. No, he is not mad at you. He knows you're scared. He just... didn't expect you to be scared of him." his voice is timid. I can tell he doesn't know how to tell me this.

"I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to flinch away from him. It was just a stupid subconscious reaction" I say, trying to defend myself.

"He knows that Amara," he tells me, his eyes smiling back at me.

"Does he?" my statement makes Armando fall silent.

"Come on kid. Let's stop speculating and get you checked out."

And then I realise, what does 'getting checked out mean'. I damn well hope it isn't what I think it is.

"Checked out how?" my breathing hitches slightly. Somehow I forgot that I have scars littering my back. Thankfully I have no visible bruises, but in reality, a bruise is easier to explain than a back full of scars.

"I don't know kid. I guess to see if you have a concussion or any broken bones." well that's okay, no need to take your clothes of for that. "Clean up any cuts or bruises." crap.

"I don't have any," I say in a rush.

"What?" Armando says confused.

"I'm fine. I don't have any cuts or bruises, no concussion either," what the fuck am I doing?