𝗔𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗞𝗮𝘆 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗮 [𝘎𝘹𝘎 - 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥]

𝗞𝗮𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗜𝗫

𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗹𝗼𝘄
ᴀʟᴀʏ ᴋᴀʏ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇsᴏʀᴀ

Reagan Sweetzel Albano's POV

I exerted all my strength to finish my signature. I must admit, it's the most horrible penmanship I've ever did, likely due to my shaking hand. It's not because I'm starting to regret my decision; it's simply because I'm losing my strength.

"Do you want me to read the organ recipients?" Dr. Harris asked so I nodded. Ibinigay ko sa kaniya ang pinirmahan ko saka ko nilingon ang magulang kong umiiyak na naman sa gilid. "Alaysa Maggarao will soon undergo a liver transplant after years of waiting, a young boy will be relieved from ESRD with a kidney donation, and Josephino Burgos, a farmer, also benefits from this generous act–––"

"Just their names and my organs." Putol ko sa kaniya. Ayaw kong pahabain ito. Tumango naman siya.

"Liver, Alaysa Maggarao. Kidneys, Josephino Burgos and Samuel Anderson. Lungs, Maribel Ramas. Large Intestine..." Nagpatuloy pa si dok. Nasa tabi ko lang siya kaya rinig na rinig ko pero, ang pagluha ng mga magulang ko ay tumutusok sa aking gilid.

Pumikit na lang ako para wala akong makita. Isang linggo na ang nakalipas matapos kong kumbinsihin ang aking magulang na susuko na ako. Isang linggo ko na rin sila nakikitang umiiyak. Namamaga na nga ang mga mata nilang dalawa. Pero ngayong nandito na ang mga pangalan ng mga makakatanggap ng laman loob ko ay mas lumakas pa ang paghagulgol nila.

"...a total of eight people." Tumigil na si dok kaya ako dumilat at tiningala siya. Ibinaba naman na nito ang papel saka rin ako tinignan. "You're saving the lives of eight people, Rea." Sabi niya saka ako nginitian.

"Are you sure that they desire to live?" I asked. It didn't take long for her to nod. It eased my heart. "That's good. Eight lives is enough, right?" Pagtatanong ko pa. Tinutukoy ko kung sapat na ba ang walong buhay na maililigtas para masabi kong may silbi naman ako sa balat ng lupa.

Sa pangalawang beses ay tumango siya. "Yes, Rea." Sabi niya sabay haplos sa buhok ko. "It is more than enough. You're a good kid." She assured me which made me tear a little. Tumango-tango ako saka ngumiti nang kay tamis.

After that, I asked her to leave the room for a moment. Gusto kong makausap ang magulang ko sa huling pagkakataon. I don't want them to feel that it's their fault because it's not. It's no ones fault.

"H-hindi na ba t-talaga magbabago isip mo, anak?" My mommy asked habang hinahaplos at hindi mabitaw-bitawan ang kamay ko.

"Mommy, I'm fine. It's fine, ready na ako." I said saka ko siya hinawakan sa magkabilang pisngi. "I'm sorry for being the first one to leave. Alam kong masakit 'yun sa part niyo as my parents. But, please don't blame yourself. Naiintindihan ko ang mga ginawa niyo para sa anak niyo. I wish I can still fight, I'm sorry–––"

"No, anak. Huwag." Singit sa akin ng aking ina saka tinanggal ang mga kamay ko sa pisngi niya at paulit ulit itong hinalikan. "Don't be sorry. Kami dapat ang humingi ng tawad. We were too strict on you, Sweetie. I just wish na mababalik ang dati at sisiguraduhin kong gagawin ko ang tama." Sabi niya

"It's not too late." Sabi ko naman. "You can still have another child. Tapos pwede niyo siyang pangalanang Mauve or Sigrid." Those were the names I had hoped to give my future children, but sadly, it won't happen. Ngumiti ako sa aking inang walang katapusang lumuha. Pinunasan ko ang luha nito saka ko tiningala ang aking ama. "Try to have one, daddy. At sigurado akong bibiyayaan kayo ng healthy na anak. You will tell her or him the story of their tough older sister and convey that they need to be strong. Assure them they can have everything I have. Please, try to have another child? Para kahit wala na ako, mayroon pa rin kayong panghuhugutan ng lakas." Mahaba kong sabi.

Humagulgol sila sa pagiyak saka sabay na tumango. Niyakap niya ako at iyon ang pinakamainit na yakap na kay tagal ko nang hindi naramdaman sa kanila.

...

Hours later, my parents were out. I on the other hand almost experienced a cardiac arrest and now I'm singing the person I love afterglow by Ed Sheeran.

"We were love drunk, waiting on a miracle
Tryna find ourselves in the winter snow
So alone in love like the world had disappeared"

"Oh, I won't be silent and I won't let go
I will hold on tighter 'til the afterglow
And we'll burn so bright 'til the darkness softly clears"

"Oh, I will hold on to the afterglow"

"Oh, I will hold on to the afterglow"

Kinapos ako ng hininga matapos iyon kaya hindi ko na itinuloy. Mayroon na rin sa akin ang aking gitara pero walang lakas ang aking mga kamay kaya hindi ko iyon ginamit. Bali, boses ko lang ulit.

Pumikit ako matapos. Nakasandal ako sa aking hospital bed na naka-sitting position. Nasa overbed table naman ang phone ko at nakaharap sa akin.

Dama ko ang patuloy na paghina ng aking puso...

"Already done?" Nahirapan akong dumilat habang lumalapit sa akin. Mabuti na lang at pamilyar ang boses niya.

"Yes." I said while smiling.

"I'll check on you, and then you can rest. You seem tired." Sabi ni Doc Harris. She did her thing and I just watched her.

We've been patient and doctor since my childhood. Aside from Valentina and my parents, she's the person who I can truly trust.

"Dr. Harris. Can I ask you a favor?" I said. I closed my eyes for a second. Mukhang tumigil naman ito sa kaniyang ginagawa

"What is it, Rea?"

"Can you... edit my videos for me?" I asked. Dumilat ako saka siya pinanood na magtaka. "I want to compile them all but I still have one last song to finish. I don't think I have enough strength to do all that."

"What do you mean?"

My heart is tired. My body's tired. I'm tired. "...I don't think I can make it tomorrow, Dr. Harris."