Dark Academia

Chapter 3: Bang Chan's diary

19 October

I didn't know it was so hard to write a PhD. Well, I knew it wasn't exactly child's play, but I didn't think I would have to make so many sacrifices. Like attending fewer student parties, or having to skip some of my salsa classes. Also, it meant I spent way more time reading books and literary theory. And I love literature, but maybe not eight hours a day?

I think that's partly why I enjoy being Junior Dear at St Magdalen College. Don't ask me why it's pronounced as "Maudelin", I don't have the answer. Weird Foxpond traditions. Since I'm Junior Dean, I don't have to worry about my PhD alone. I also worry about Graduate students. My job is basically to reach out and make sure everyone's doing fine. They even got me a nice little office for that purpose. All in all, I'm happy I can be useful to someone, because I know my PhD won't.

It's been only a couple of weeks since the start of term, but my first student came in the office this morning, saying he needed some advice on PhD applications and "the future". I could understand why he was distressed. St Magdalen (or SM for shorts) was a very good college, founded by the Yoon family, from the Topaz dynasty. The competition was big, the pressure high.

I welcomed Choi Seungcheol, who was a simple-looking boy, with a big smile and a thick accent. I couldn't help but think he was surely having a hard time with that accent in Foxpond, where everyone's English was at least standard, unless it was posh. But because of all I went through with my Aussie accent, I completely understood the guy. We talked for a bit, and he quickly evoked a PhD.

"Me folks says it's not for me," he confessed, looking down. "But I really wanna try! I don't wanna work in no farm. I wanna go far."

I tried to reassure him as I could, saying that everybody got their chances, and he shared all his very valid worries – about the competition, about having no money and being disadvantaged compared to the heirs.

"Look, I'm not an heir," I said. "And I know lots of students who aren't heirs and got a spot."

"But it's not about the spot only, innit? I gotta have the fundin', too. That's somethin' the heirs don't have to worry about. Mummy and daddy got their backs."

As much as I agreed with him, I attempted not to let it show, and simply talked about the different programmes helping PhD students in need. It at least got him interested, and eased his mind a little. Before I let him go, I asked whether he wanted to talk about anything else, and he seemed to hesitate.

"Is everything okay? Are you getting along with the other Grad students?"

"Yeah, they're alrigh'." He scratched his head before diving in, "It's my roommate. I dunno, he's... weird. I never know if he's flirtin' with me or if he's makin' fun o' me. Perhaps both."

We talked about the roommate for some time. He was apparently an Undergrad from the Topaz dynasty, and had too much time for his own sake and for Seungcheol's. He made him very uncomfortable just by existing, which I had some trouble understanding. At any rate, I advised him to confront the roommate about this, and tell me if the matter wasn't resolved.

27 November

Today I got to meet Choi Seungcheol's roommate. And I now understand what it means for someone to make you uncomfortable just by existing.

I wasn't supposed to have any appointments this afternoon (and I checked afterwards), just some readings to do for my PhD. But this little one still knocked on my office door and got in without waiting for an answer.

Yoon Joshua, from the Topaz dynasty. It was not the blue gem on his ring, it was not the dark velvet tuxedo, or even the refined way he talked, that told me he was an heir. It was his smirk. That smug little smile in the corner of his mouth. That said he was better than you and he knew it.