Dark Academia

Chapter 9: Dokyeom's soulmate

"Wanna have a walk in the park?" I ask.

"It'll be dark soon."

"Wanna play some game?"

"I'm good."

"Wanna steal some chips from the kitchen?"

"Not in the mood."

I sit up on my bed. Chwe Vernon never says no to chips. There definitely is something wrong. But my roommate looks just like usual – quiet, in his own world. I look at him for a minute and he glances at me. "What?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yup." I haven't known him for so long, and we've only been friends since that party thrown by Joshua, really. (I guess that having to clean after someone's puke does bring you closer.) But we live together, and I can tell that he's feeling down, because he never says "yup".

At some point, he looks at me. He must notice I'm not buying it because he sighs. "My mum's unwell." I stay quiet. I know how much his mother means to him, how close they are. "It's been a few days. It's not getting better. I'm– scared."

He looks exhausted, and weak. I haven't seen him like this, ever – he's usually bubbly and goofy, and isn't able to talk seriously about any subject. How long has he been like this without me noticing? Suddenly, I feel ashamed for not being a good friend. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shakes his head. That means no. I walk to his bed and crash next to him. Vernon tries to smile but can't. I'd like to hug him but I'm not sure we hug. And I'm not good at comforting people. Instead, I try what I do best. Making people laugh.

"I'm really sorry, Vernon-ah. It sucks. But you know what also sucks? That you're stuck with me in this room when we could go make some mess in the dorm."

He chuckles, very lightly. I watch him for a minute and whisper, "I'm here if you need me, okay? I know you need your space, but I'm here." He barely acknowledges me, and I add louder, "Let's go and see Seungcheol-hyung! I'm sure he's having an existential crisis either about his PhD project or about finding a replacement for Yunho in the rowing team. We've got to see this."

Vernon nods passively and we exit the dorm. He's still very much closed in on himself, but I can feel he's smiling inside. We walk through the corridors, already in our pyjamas – which are fancy, because the dynasties even have rules for pyjamas. The dorm is silent, as, I imagine, people are working hard – something we don't do enough, I guess.

"Do you really think we won't be able to race this spring?" Vernon eventually asks. "If we don't find a replacement for Yunho, I mean."

"I don't know. I'm sure Yunho would still race with us if we really needed him." I want to check on Wonwoo's room, which is not far away from ours. I think he shares it with some Undergrad who does theatre here at St Hybe's – is it Junhui? Or perhaps Jongho? Can't remember. But Wonwoo isn't someone you disturb, so I decide to pass quietly by his door. "Anyway, that's if Wooyoung accepts to talk to him again."

"I think they're better," Vernon states.

I see him check on Mingyu and Yunho's door. He says Mingyu's his best friend. And I don't know why I feel weird about it. I'm not jealous. I just feel Mingyu's not appreciating Vernon for what he is. The way I am. I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself and he doesn't feel the same way, but these days, Vernon feels like my best friend. I used to stick to Wonwoo and San, be like their shadow, follow them everywhere and do everything like them. But with Vernon, I can be myself, really. I don't know if he's realised he can be himself with me, as well.

"What do you mean?" I ask, while gesturing for him to knock on the door.

"According to Mingyu-hyung, who heard it from Yunho-yah, Wooyoung talks to him now. I think they're friends again, or something."