I don't wanna change
I wanna stay right where I lay
Eyes closed head down on the pillow
I better change before it's too late
I'm guessing this is growing up
Forever The Sickest Kids
My head lolled to the side of the shotgun seat. When I opened my eyes, the girl who looked a lot like Sarah was cursing with her palm on her forehead. Well, not really cursing. She was just muttering ‘crap’ or ‘darn’—couldn’t really tell with the constant buzzing in my ears—or some goody-two-shoes’ attempt to imitate the complicated art of cursing.
Wimpy but cute.
She rolled down the window and stuck her head out, shouting, “So sorry!” to the vehicle in front of us.
I was so absorbed in watching her that I just noticed that we almost hit the back of a service van we were following. Apparently, she was a crappier driver than moi. She was also talking in the phone while driving, which is by the way, illegal. And could kill us both. Except that I couldn’t care less.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” she hissed to the phone as her other hand fumbled inside her sling bag for something. “You’re a reporter, Gina! Journalist! Press! Media! How could you not know these things?”
As the traffic light turned red, she let out a soft grunt, muttering, “Where’s that stupid headset!” before tossing her bag to the backseat. She manoeuvred the wheel, setting the phone to speaker mode as she took the next turn.
“Okay, okay. Relax.” The female voice from the speakers who could only be Gina said. “I’m goin’ to make some calls and let’s see what I can get, okay hon?”
“Thanks,” the girl replied, not the least bit relieved. “I really appreciate it. ASAP please.”
“Give me a minute. This ain’t fast food, ya’ know.” The sound of fingers tapping on a PC keyboard filled the next half of the minute. “Why don’t you just take him to your apartment, for the time being?”
“No. Freaking. Way.” The girl shook her head, looking a bit uneasy.
“Why? You scared?”
“Me?” she forced a fake chuckle. “Why would I be? I mean… there’s no reason to—“
“Babycake, you owe the guy. Payback’s a bi—“
“I know. I’m stupid and I know I have to face the consequences sooner or later,” she winced a bit, chewing her lower lip guiltily. “Now can we get back on that hotel address?”
Gina from the other line sighed. “Double Tree, Washington Street. Be careful with your drivin’.”
“I know. Thanks a lot, Gina. I owe you one.” Then she hung up, her forehead all scrunched up. She let out a deep breath and looked at me. It must’ve looked like I was still asleep because she didn’t seem to notice that I was looking at her. “Now, let’s get you home.”
My eyelids just wanted to drop but I struggled to stay awake and watch as the headlights played on her face. Doing that, I dozed off and dreamt of Sarah during her parents’ wedding.
I could still pretend that she was still alive. Freddy could still send me those letters. And I could keep believing that she was still in Hopkinton. A lie was easier to accept than the truth.
I alternated in between snoozing and waking during the whole drive. I was stumped. After tonight, what next? Should I keep getting drunk like this for the rest of my life? How could I move on now?
YOU ARE READING
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