M U E R T O S || [Hazbin Hotel x Reader]

0.3| P I L O T: The One an Only.

"What great charity it is
Of her presence to be granted
For anyone who sees
This is all they could've wanted
It is she who comes
No longer are you lonely
To death are you heart's last drums
Yes, THE ONE AND ONLY."

—"NO! I am here because I want to help!" He returned to his cheerful voice.

Charlie: "Say what now?"

        "Help!" He repeated, "Ha Ha ha! Helloo, is this thing on?" He taps his microphone cane. "Testing, testing...!"

        "Well I hear you loud and clear!" it said.

Charlie: "Um... you want to help... wiithh...?"
Alastor: "This ridiculous thing you're trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it!"
Charlie: "Buut... why?"
Alastor: "Ha ha ha! Why does anyone do anything? SHEER... Absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades! My work became montane... sloppy! Lacking focus... AIMLESS!"

        He pushed Vaggie away aggressively. "I've come to create a NEW form of entertainment! Ha ha ha!" He throws his hands up.

Charlie: "Does... getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment?"
Alastor: "Ha ha ha! It's the purest kind my dear. Reality! True Passion!"

        You nod, agreeing with him mentally on that one.

Alastor: "After all... The world is a stage, and a stage... is a world of entertainment"
Charlie: "so... does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?"
Alastor: "hahaha! Of course not, 'rehabilitate a demon'... that's whacky nonsense!"

        Charlie purses her lips. "Redemption... Oh the non-existent humanity!" He shakes his head. "Nononono... I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome—" he glances at us on the couch, his eyes linger on you for a bit longer, "—sinners. The chance given was the life they lived before. The punishment is THIS! ...there's no undoing what is done."

        Unease crawls all through your body. Unwanted memories invade your consciousness and you hug yourself discreetly.

Charlie: "So then.. why do you wanna help me if you don't believe in my cause?"
Alastor: "consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure..."
Charlie: "Rriiight..."

        She removes his hand from her shoulder. "Yes indeedy! I see big things coming ahead—" he pulls her along somewhere.

Angel: "So uh... what's the deal with smiles over there?"
Vaggie: "Wait—You've never heard of him before? You've been here longer than me!"

       Angel shrugs. "The radio demon, one of the most powerful beings hell has ever seen?" Angel shrugs again and says "Eh... not big on politics." And so... Vaggie goes on a deep dramatic rant about who Alastor was.

Angel: "You done? Pfft—he looks like a strawberry pimp!"

You chuckled at that comment.

Vaggie: "Well I don't trust him!"
Angel: "To be fair—do you trust any man? Any man? Heh men?"

Vaggie deadpans and gets up to walk towards Charlie. Now, it was Angel and you alone in the couch.

Angel: "So what's your name?"
You: "People call me La Muerte."

Angel sits straight and looks at you with shocked eyes.

Angel: "La Muerte? As in The La Muerte who owns and runs La tierra de los recordados??"
You: "Indeed"

You give him a close-eyed smile and nod as if it wasn't a big deal.

Angel: "No wonder you're so... festive looking. You look better than I imagined you looked like!"
You: "Oh don't praise me too much sweetie. It gets to the head!"

Before we knew it, Alastor was making his way close to us while inspecting the Hotel. He sees Vaggie's annoyed face. "Smile, my dear! You know you're never fully dressed without one" after successfully angering her, he continued to inspect while humming.

Alastor: "So where is your hotel staff?"
Charlie: "Uhh well..."

        They both look at Vaggie who's glaring at Alastor. "Ho ho ho... you're going to need more than that..." he goes towards Angel. "And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?"

Angel: "I can suck your dick."
Alastor: "Ha! No."
Angel: "Your loss."

        He then approached me, finally. "My! What a colorfully enticing presence we have here! Who might you be, my dear?" Charlie comes next to him.

Charlie: "Oh yeah! She also is now part of the staff—I think? She arrived just a few seconds before you."

        You stand up, towering over the two other demons. You dust your dress off and smile.

You: "I am La Muerte, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Charlie: "Wait—You're THE La Muerte?
Vaggie: "WHAT? You... you..."
Alastor: "Oh my! Well this has gotten indeed much more interesting! Charlie, you now have two proper additions to your cause"

        He hugs you by the waist and pulls you close, as to imply you two are the 'proper additions'. "But of course... that's still too little. I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up more!" He snaps his fingers and the fire place gets restored. From the fire within, a black blob was seen. Alastor grabs it and it opens its eye. Once the black dust disappears, a cute little demoness is presented.

Alastor: "This little darling is Niffty!"

        Niffty is dropped down and she gets up. "Hi! I'm Niffty! It's been a while since I've made new friends... why're you all women?" She runs to hold up Charlie, "are there any men here!?" She puts her down "sorry, that's rude..." she looks up at me then. "Woah! That's tall!" The mini-demon then notices the state of the hotel. "Ohh man! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch... which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense... Oh my gosh this is awful!" She dusts spider webs in a speedy manner. "Nope nope nope nope!" She gasps seeing a bug and stabs it. "Nope!"