M U E R T O S || [Hazbin Hotel x Reader]

0.4| P I L O T: What the Hell?

'Folks and sinners,
Take a seat,
Dancing demons,
Here you see,
Singing are the ones who fell
Makes you murmur
"WHAT THE HELL?"'

—"HA!" The voice of a man is heard from the corner as he slams his cards down. "Read 'em and weep, boys! Full Ho-" he notices the new environment and freaks out "-tel? What the fuck is this?" The cat-demon looks around and notices Alastor and accusingly points at him.

Husker: "You!"
Alastor: "Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!"
Husk: "Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!"
Alastor: "Good to see you too."

Husk slaps his forehead at the useless banter. "What the hell do you want with me this time...?"

Alastor wraps an arms around the demon's neck and pulls him closer. "My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!"

Husk: "Are you shittin' me?!"
Alastor: "Hmm... No, I don't think so!"

Husk shoves Alastor off "You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!"

Alastor: "Mmaybe!"
Husk: "I ain't doing no fucking charity job."

Alastor teleported behind him through shadows. "Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!" He hugs him closer while pointing at the alcohol bar. "With your charming smile—" he pulls Husks's lips into a forced smile "—and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend..." the deer demon walks towards the desk, "I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish." Alastor makes a bottle of cheap booze appear.

Husk: "What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!"

He grabs the booze and looks at it "...Well, you can!" He adds before drowning the booze.

Vaggie: "Hey! Hey! Heyheyhey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth...brothel...man cave!"

Angel Dust launches himself at her. "SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We—" he points to the bar with all his fingers "—are keeping this!" You blink a few times, seeing that Angel then goes to flirt with Husk and Charlie attacks him with Welcoming energy.

Alastor: "So, whaddaya think?"
Charlie: "This is amazing!"

She rubs her cheeks excitedly. A rather cute action that pushed you to pinch her cheek affectionately. "Aw well aren't you adorable sweetheart?" You coo and Charlie just smiles in satisfaction. Vaggie stands there with crossed arms.

Vaggie: "It's... okay."

Alastor reels the two towards him. "Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!" Vaggie wiggles out of his grasp and Alastor fixes his monocle. A flame appears in his other hand and he throws it up, pushing Vaggie out of the way. His clothes changed and he bagan dancing with Charlie.

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧
Now playing: Alastor's Reprise

A: ♫ You have a dream! ♫

He twirls Charlie and dresses her up in a classic dress of his times.

A: ♫ You wish to tell! ♫

He turns to Vaggie who's on the floor

A: ♫ And it's just laughable ♫

He returns to Charlie and throws her in thw air.

A: ♫ But, hey, kid, what the hell? ♫

The background behind Charlie changes to neon colored lights featuring two apples and a skull.

Alastor catches Charlie hands and they both tap dance.

A: ♫ 'Cause you're one-of-a-kind! A charming demon belle! ♫

The stairs flatten and they both slide down.

A: ♫ Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! ♫

He snaps his fingers and our clothes turn into more 1930s festive clothing. Including yours which became a neon-red-colored dress with a soft fur scarf.

A: ♫ Take it, boys! ♫

He snaps his fingers and little shadow demons appear, playing instruments.

A: ♫ Haha! Inside of every demon is a lost cause! ♫

He puts a fedora on Angel's head as he snaps his fingers back at Alastor.

A: ♫ But we'll dress 'em up for now, with just a smile! ♫

He gives Vaggie a hat, a fur scarf and smacks her ass with his cane which enraged her.

A: ♫ And we'll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair! ♫

He kicks off a skull which Niffty rushes in and cleans off. He dances towards you, twirls you and goes off towards the fireplace.

A: ♫ And show these simpletons some proper class and style! ♫

He summons shadows from there.

A: ♫ Oh! Here below the ground, ♫

He goes to twirl Charlie and pinches her cheeks.

A: ♫ I'm sure your plan is sound! ♫

He holds hands with Charlie as they both twirl.

A: ♫ They'll spend a little time, down at this Hazbin Ho- ♫

˚✧ ┊ ┊ ┊

The music is abruptly ended by the hotel door exploding and knocking Niffty away. You all look outside. There was a warship.

Sir Pentious: "Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!"
Alastor: "Do I know you?" He tilts his head.

Sir Pentious' ego deflates, "Oh, yes you do!" The hood flares open, "And this time, I have the element of—SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!"

You: "My~ whose child is that?" You cover your mouth with a hand.

With a snap of Alastor's finger, an otherworldly dimensional portal opens with tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Sir Pentious' ship while he is inside. Alastor, then, finishes it off as he clenches his fist with a few drops of blood dripping off his hand. He was grinning menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the others look at him in shock and horror.

"Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya?" He smiles as if nothing happened, "My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now..."

You all walk back to the hotel and Alastor uses magic to change the sign to 'HAZBIN HOTEL'.

...Stay tuned. Hahaha...!"