M U E R T O S || [Hazbin Hotel x Reader]

1 | Good Ideas are born to be defied.

"Hasn't it been always like this?
My dear, take judgement with ease
The people say as the please
No matter how much others tried
No matter how much justice cried
GOOD IDEAS ARE BORN TO BE DEFIED"

—"WELL, hello there, you wayward Sinner!" The video shows a demon stabbed another one. "Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!"

You place a hand on your cheek and tilt your head in slight disappointment but mainly discomfort.

Alastor: "Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here we offer fun things, such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this, and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!"

Alastor turns the TV off. "So, what do you think?" On the couch, You, Charlie and Vaggie were surprised of the commercial being poorly made and comically offensive.

Vaggie: "I'm sorry. What the fuck was that?"

You: "I must say, dear... your talents lie on radio show above such things..."

Charlie: "Uh, Yeah. Adding to that note, Alastor, I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit off. We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um..."

You: "Pathetic?"

Vaggie: "Bad. The word you're looking for is bad."

Alastor: "Funny. I was going for hilarious."

Vaggie: "It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point."

Charlie: "Vaggie is right Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them."

Alastor: "Well, my dear, I haven't been active in hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself. But, you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement."

He taps the television twice with his microphone staff "So, I had a little fun with it."

'What a sassy man he is.' You mentally thought.

"Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it?" Vaggie stands up. "Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's gonna wanna come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time."

Angel Dust raises his hand from the couch, catching everyone's attention.

Vaggie: "What?"
Angel Dust: "If'n you're... filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?"

Angel Dust takes a bottle with one arm before pointing all three arms at himself.

You: "Your known for something we'd like to avoid promoting, sweetie..."

Vaggie: "Angel, you're a porn star."

Angel Dust: "A famous porn star, I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in."

You: "Again—not what we need..."

Vaggie: "We are not filming a porn as a commercial."

Angel Dust: "Why not? Sex sells don't it? I swear if you film me going at it with Mr. fancy talk creepy voice here, you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."

He pointed at Alastor. "Ha ha. Never going to happen."

Charlie: "Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you in that way."

Angel Dust: "Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity. (laughs). Oh, I got the legs. The gag reflex, the ho—"

You: "That's enough."

Charlie chuckles nervously until Charlie's phone rings. "Hold that thought! I'll be right back." She leaver

Angel Dust: "I could keep going—"

You: "You shall not"

Angel sighs and drinks his beer. "Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?"

"Oh, trust me—" he smiles in a mischievous dark manner. "—I can." He closes his fist and his antlers grow.

Husk: "Why do you think I'm here?"

We all turn to the source of the voice.

Husk: "You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me?"

Niffty pops up from behind the counter with a hand raised. "I like being forced."

'The smaller they are, the wilder they get' you mentally noted.

Husk: "Keep that to yourself, Niff."

Angel Dust: "What? You don't love being here with me, Whiskers?"

Husk: "Call me Whiskers again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat."

Angel Dust: "Kinky. Come on, keep talking dirty."

Vaggie: "Angel... Let Husk do his job. And, no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to."

Angel Dust: "I'm choosing to be here and I think it's all stupid. We're in hell, toots. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?"

You: "Well I am choosing to be here with actual good hopes in Charlie"

You smile softly. Vaggie's eyes soften and she quietly thanks you. Ever since finding out about who you were, she was quite passive around you.

Vaggie: "Well, Maybe it doesn't have to be the end. Just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible."

You: "Indeed! Ideas are made to be born when no one else dares to think of them! Like the earth's shape!"

Angel Dust places a hand on Vaggie's shoulder, giving her a deadpan expression while the latter makes the same one, "Hey, whatever means I can keep crashing here rent-free. Crack is expensive." You sigh in disappointment and walk towards where Charlie disappeared to just to hear her giggling and celebrating.

You: "Honey, what's gotten you so excited?"

She gasps and turns around, startled. "Oh oh! You won't believe it—! Wait lemme call Vaggie too!"