Nightmare

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"Your Majesty!" I jumped to my feet and bowed my head in deference while my face flamed. He was casually leaning against the cabinets with his coffee cup, stirring in the sugar and cream and had likely been there the entire time. I had been caught red-handed.

"By all means, Clia, please continue. You are allowed anywhere in the castle at any hour. Anyone is allowed to view the Book of Marks," he waved his spoon at me. "I have been through it thousands of times."

I blanched at the reminder that he was a few centuries old and simply bobbed my head, moving back to the table. There could be a well-worn section that might tell what his Mark was, but I was not going to be so obvious in front of him. "Your mate..." I looked back down at the pages. "What if she died or is not born yet?"

"Ah," he said, bringing the coffee back over to his work area. "I believe that mates find each other some way. Even if I met her only for an hour, it would be a blessing."

"Hmm," I tapped my chin, finding the rows of pictures that looked like fern leaves to me. At last, I spotted my familiar Mark with its little pink lines between the leaflets and my name printed below it. The ones around it did look similar, but were bent the wrong way, curled or spiraled, or had multiple leaves together. I slouched as I finished the page with no match and scanned it again just to be sure.

"No luck?" Kinnut had not looked away since his last comment, watching me search for my other half.

I shook my head with a frown. "No." I chewed my lip. This book would show anyone still alive with my matching Mark. Unlike Kinnut, I was not as amenable to the idea of an age gap. Sure, my lifespan was much longer than a human's, but imagining my mate being decades younger was not appealing. The other possibility was that my mate was another race like a shifter or fae which also made me nervous. I could not be with a shifter or a vampire.

I moved to a different section, this one with weather symbols, idly searching for one shaped like a sun.

"You should not worry. Your Mark is a blessing from the Bells and your mate will be perfect for you."

Suppressing the urge to roll my eyes, I sighed. There was no point trying to hide my thoughts on the matter because he would just sense them. "Maybe they won't when they find out that I am an Uncertain," I laughed dryly.

Kinnut clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "That will not matter at all. It should not. You did not ask for or determine what you were born with anymore than you chose your own eye color. What matters is the actions that you do choose to make in life. Your character."

I twisted my lips. "We all want to be more than we are, Sire. I, too, want to at least maintain my family's status and strength."

"I understand," he nodded. After all, he knew the social ladder better than anyone with all the ongoing attempts to climb it and gain his favor. I was not some simpering lady, ready to bat her eyelashes for gossip or alliances. He probably had people throwing themselves at him all the time.

"I'm sorry," I blurted, surprising myself.

The king simply tilted his head questioningly and I stuttered to voice my thoughts in a way that did not sound as horrible as it was.

"Well, I...because...You have not had a mate for a long time and here you are, trying to make me feel better about not seeing mine in here. I mean, you have a ball planned even, since..." I trailed off, not knowing how he felt about it.

The king held the mug beneath his nose and inhaled the steam before sipping and exhaling. "Yes. I have put it off too long. It must be done."

"What if your mate is something else? How do you find out?"

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