DOUBT IS MISTAKE

PART 2: SURMANAGE

 I quickly entered the bathroom to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes. After washing my hands and face with ice-cold water once again, I made my way to the kitchen with heavy steps. Despite their argument a moment ago, my parents were now inexplicably smiling and exchanging smiles with each other. Leaning my hands on the kitchen door, I began to watch them where they couldn't see me. I had never upset them before, and no matter what happened, I had always been proud of them. I had clashed with my father many times, but I had never been angry or upset with him, always listening to his words and following my own path without ever getting mad or sulking.

My mother, on the other hand, had never raised her voice at me, no matter how angry she was, because my mother, like my father, was my blood, my flesh, and my pride till the end. Who knew, maybe the argument just now was meant for me to see them again and hear my voice. These thoughts filled me with pride, and I entered the kitchen confidently. They didn't notice me as I lightly tapped on each other's shoulders and muttered to myself, "I told you so," in my mother's laughter, creating an atmosphere of joy in my heart.

As I coughed softly a few times, they startled suddenly, but their joyous expressions and the happiness in their eyes remained undiminished. I settled into the chair I had sat in months ago, filled the cups from the teapot on the table, and handed them over. Before taking a sip of my tea, I deeply inhaled the aroma, as my lungs had been filled with the poison of cigarettes and my medications for years.

When I woke up screaming, I was drenched in sweat, and the sun was scorching my naked body. I opened my eyes slightly and threw my arm to the other side of the bed, but Ender wasn't there. After lingering in bed for a short while longer, I called out for Ender, but the house was eerily silent. Fueled by the nightmare I had just seen, I quickly got up, and as I was about to step into the other rooms, I noticed a letter and an envelope placed next to my bag. Unable to control the trembling of my lips, I murmured in agony, "No, God, please! Let it not be what I'm thinking. Take my life, but let this thought not be true." It felt like I was experiencing a slow-motion version of the emotion in movies, as I moved towards my bag with fear. A voice inside me was telling me that Ender had left me and all my dreams would vanish into a pit. I was doing something I hadn't done in years, begging God for this thought not to be true. When I reached my bag, I closed my eyes for a moment, and holding the note close to my eyes, I opened them.

In the note written byEnder, it said: "First of all, I want to thank you for giving me thisbeautiful night, for your body, and your big breasts. I told you weeks ago thatI've been in relationships with many girls, but you were the most enjoyable andthe most beautiful among hundreds of girls. I couldn't live this life with youbecause I needed to stay single to achieve many things I aimed for in thefuture, but if I didn't have to stay single, I would have wanted to marry you.This world is too dark and dangerous for innocents like you, so I decided toleave for a short while, about an hour after you fell asleep. You will find theanswer to this night in the envelope. Once again, thank you for this beautifulnight and everything about you. Goodbye."

 One hand rubbing against my unkempt beard, I curved my lips slightly andsaid, "I haven't seen you both this happy in a long time. Seeing you happyagain truly makes me happy too. Tell me, what's making you so happy?" Newblood seemed to be rushing through my veins, and despite my dark thoughts, Ifelt I could use them for a good purpose. After these thoughts, I realized mymother was about to say something, but my father started talking as she began."You're our happiness, son. After this long time, you need to be happyagain because you're having breakfast with us again after months. Now tell us,what else could make us happier than this?"