Wlw smut (one shots)

6

Guess who's back ;)

This is... different
There is smut eventually I promise lmao
***

I saw this coming from the beginning.

It takes everything in me not to tear the letter apart but I push down the overwhelming and confusing emotions inside me and read it again.

~Sweetheart, I don't even know where to begin,

Im sorry for everything I've ever said to you, all the hurt I've put you through, every single time you felt betrayed or pushed aside. I've done everything I can to convince myself I ignored all that because I didn't care.

Instead I think I was trying to convince myself that I didn't love you, but how could someone not love you?
I think I've just been scared to admit you saved me when I didn't know I needed saving, and figuring that out led me to feel too proud to ever admit that I needed saving to begin with.

I don't think I'll ever understand how I became so lucky to even know you, let alone to have been able to see you, touch you, please you. You've consumed me. Consumed my life, my thoughts, my dreams and I can't help but smile every single time. I think I have every single time I've ever seen you engraved in my head, the image of your head leaning back into the pillow with your hands in my hair as i'm between your legs, my mouth working you to your high.

I'll forever be grateful for these moments.

Like I said, I've hurt you. I know sorry isn't enough to earn your forgiveness, not for a while but I'll try in any you want. I'll do snything it takes my love. You're worth fighting for, worth crying for, worth being saved for. Just let me try.

Please let me try baby.

Take your time to respond, I'll wait. If you really want to punish me make me wait. I'll do it. I know now that I haven't had you how much I need you, I need you in every way possible and I'll never forgive myself for possibly ruining this.

Do whatever you want with this, just know that I'm sorry and I love you.~

A few tear stains have scattered on to the pages whilst reading, so many different emotions are filling my body which I'm now blaming for this possible bad decision making.

Apparently emotion dumbing onto me and confessing deep love is my weakness, despite the intense rollercoaster this 'relationship' has been, because I'm already getting ready to leave.

We know how it ends.

But I'm going anyway because I deserve more than a crappy, loving, manipulative, beautiful letter.

I grab the papers off the bed and shove them in my back pocket along with my phone and leave for her house. I know she's in because it's after 10pm and she's usually home for hours by now. I try and think of some things to say when I get there but my minds too foggy, all I know is that I at least want my say.

Before I know it I'm banging on her front door, I didn't even notice how hard it was raining until standing here for the last few seconds. "Give me a sec!" She shouts through the door.

The door handle twitches and I can feel my heart sink a little. She opens the door and her face is riddled with shock. "What, erm what are you doing? Shit come in out the rain." She gestures inside and backs away from the door.