The one that got away

10. Bitterness and secret vengeance

"Sugaroo! Ang daya mo naman eh!" 

Jin Hye made a face when she heard Danni called Calen sugaroo again. It was a Sunday morning, pangatlong araw na niya sa bahay at sa buhay ni Calen. She was sitting on the living room habang nasa entertainment -- on the other side -- si Calen at ang Danni na iyon. She found out that just like Calen - Danni likes video games too at iyon ang bonding time ng dalawa. She crumpled the paper she was holding when she saw Danni leaned on Calen's shoulder habang hawak nito ang joy stick. 

"You suck at this game, cupcake." Calen laughed. He laughed whole-heartedly and hearing him laugh like that makes her envious of Danni. She remembered the day when she was the cause of his joy and laughter, naalala niya na nsa tuwing tatawa ito, sa kanya ito nakatingin, tapos ay bigla siya nitong hahatakin palapit at saka yayakapin. 

"I hate this game, why are you even making me play this?"  tila nagtatampo pang wika ng babae. 

"Cause I'm good at this." Calen said to Danni. She sighed. Kagabi ay nag-iisip siya, why is she acting this way? Is she actually JEALOUS  of the fact that Calen has a special friend? Pero hindi siya pwedeng magselos dahil wala siyang karapatan kasi wala naman na siyang papel sa buhay nito. 

"Ang sweet nila no, Miss..." napatingin siya kay Nancy. Umupo pa ito sa tabi niya at sinimulang isalansan ang mga magazines sa ilalim ng coffee table. "Akala ko talaga, asawa ka ni Sir, buti na lang nagtanong ako kay Jake, ayun pala, magkaibigan lang kayo, tapos tinutulungan ka pala ni Sir. Mabait talaga si Sir." 

"Matagal na ba sila?" hindi matiis na tanong niya. 

"Ah, sila? Oo. Nakakatuwa nga dahil mula nang makilala ni Sir si Maam Danni eh hindi na siya nagdala ng ibang babae dito." 

Napatingin siya kay Nancy. Nakangiti ito habang nakatingin sa dalawa. They were still playing that game. She sighed.

"Serious pala sila sa isa't-isa." 

"Ay, oo!" wika pa ni Danni. ""Nakakatuwa sila. Feeling ko sila na talaga ang magkakatuluyan. Alagang-alaga ni Danni si Sir eh."

She sighed again. Bakit ganoon? Bakit may masakit sa parte ng dibdib niya. Bakit parang mas mahirap pa iyong nararamdaman niya ngayon kaysa noong nasa poder siya ng kanyang madrasta. 

"Okay ka lang ba?" Nancy asked her. She just nodded. Tumayo siya at nagpunta sa kanyang silid. She wanted to be alone, she wanted to breathe in, to think. HIndi talaga niya kayang makita si Calen na masaya sa piling ng iba. Siguro selfish siya kasi kahit alam niyang may posibilidad na dumating ang panahong ito -- ang panahon na magiging masaya si Calen kasama ng ibang babae -- ay hindi siya handa. Hindi niya kaya, ayaw niya. Gusto niya sa oras na masaya si Calen ay masaya din siya pero hindi naman nangyari, Calen is happt but she's miserable, she's lonely, she's sad and most of all she's alone. 

The only person she wanted to be with right now was actually busy being someone else's sugaroo... 

-----------------------------

Some years ago...

I woke up in the middle of the night with that bugging sound. Agad akong napatayo when I noticed a shadow outside my balcony. Lumapit ako roon. Maybe I was dreaming or whatever and I know that I should be scared but I wasn't at all -- in my heart of hearts, I was wishing and hoping that it was HIM standing outside my glass window waiting for me to open it. 

So I did, I opened my window and my tears feel down when I saw HIM. God! It was Calen. He was outside my balcony, standing in front of me, looking at me the way he used to look at me. 

"Calen." I stood there. "Please tell me your not a dream." nakikiusap ako. 

"I'm in a nightmare. Still in a nightmare." he said, pain was in his voice. He shrugged. "I tried waking myself many many times, but I just couldn't wake up."