Suicide, Skittles and Skates [✓]

Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Ow!"

Kalila was busy trying to answer a question on phagocytosis in the immune system the next day in biology class when a stray pen flew through the air and hit her on the head. She looked up in annoyance, knowing perfectly well that it had been Alex trying to get her attention as she didn't really know anyone else in the class.

"Sorry!" He whispered apologetic, trying not to alert Mrs Duffy, "but when are you free next? It's already December, we have so much to do."

She grinned sheepishly, aware that this would be the perfect chance to ask him what her parents had requested last night. "How about you come over today? My mum wants you to stay for dinner, I told them about Eric and they wanna thank you."

"I'd love to," he answered with enthusiasm, beaming. There was no way he could pass up a home cooked meal instead of all the takeaways he had become accustomed to. His eyes lit up at her suggestion and he felt a tinge of sadness hit him subtly, the kindness of her parents made him miss his own.

She could feel eyes watching her from all around the room and tried not to fidget, hiding how uncomfortable she was at being scrutinised. Nobody in school had ever taken a lot of notice of her before other than the usual 'hi, bye' thing in the hallways and now, just because of a small conversation they couldn't hear, she was being studied like an animal in a cage.

Kalila shivered, noticing Melissa was seething and wondered if she had heard him being invited over. From the harsh glares she was shooting, perhaps she had heard the entire conversation. She stifled a laugh, knowing that Mel thought Alex was interested in Kalila in that way. It was clear that they were just friends, good friends but friends nonetheless.

'Pfft, as if he would look twice at boring old me when he could have a live Barbie doll like you again anyway,' she thought to herself rolling her eyes and continuing her work for the rest of the lesson, ignoring the scowling.

"Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting, I went to the art room to pick up this," Alex panted, trying to catch his breath after running down a flight of stairs half an hour after school had ended. Kalila looked up from the notebook she was doodling in while waiting, to see him clutching an A2 sized canvas, much bigger than the A3 and A4 ones they usually used.

"What the...?" she asked, bemused while picking up her bag and offering to take his as well so he could carry the canvas properly. They started the walk to her house, grateful that it had finally stopped raining and the roads weren't too full of people loitering around for a change.

"Well I looked at the picture of us all with paint on our faces and I thought it would look much better if both of us worked on it instead of two separate pieces. But I mean... only if you want to?" he asked nervously, mentally slapping himself for not asking her opinion before he had ran around like a headless chicken to go find a larger canvas from Mr Jamison in the art block of the school.

Kalila beamed. It was a great idea, the final presentation would look much more eye catching if all their pieces were different sizes and maybe that would be enough to impress Central Saint Martins – her dream university – in order to get that scholarship she so badly needed. The sizes of the canvases could also be metaphorical, perhaps to do with how important different moments are to the two of them. She explained her thought process to Alex who nodded, agreeing whole-heartedly and before long they were standing in her empty driveway.

"Nobody is home yet so c'mon, let's get some done while it's peaceful for a change!" she said, trudging up the stairs and throwing both their bags on her bed. Alex set up the canvas and plugged the memory card from his camera into her laptop, locating the best picture from their paint fight the previous day and making it full screen. Kalila couldn't help smiling as she looked at it, her heart swelling with affection for her friends.

They grabbed a pencil each and began sketching the picture, working together quietly with the occasional bit of talking. Alex felt at peace, there was something about Kalila that always calmed him down and he was grateful for this. They worked hard for a while, both proud when the stark white canvas had transformed into a bunch of sharp lines, twisting and curving to show the outline of five paint-covered teenagers with their arms around each other, laughing at the camera, eyes bright with happiness.

"My fingers feel like they're about to fall off!" Kalila grumbled, wiping her grey stained fingertips on her khaki jeans to clean them. Alex chuckled and stood up to stretch, they had been sitting for so long that his entire body was aching. His gaze wandered to the pictures on the walls and he stepped closer, looking at a picture that stood out to him.

It was of a younger version of Kalila and another slightly older girl smiling up at the camera. She had paler skin and lighter hair but it was clear they were related, with the same facial features and eyes. They had their arms around each other and there was a huge glittering rock on her ring finger.

Kalila noticed the specific picture he was studying and felt her heart skip a beat as she took a few steps closer to him, so close she could see the small scar on his left cheek, so close she could count every eyelash, so close she could see all the swirls of blues that made up his irises.

"Natalie," she said quietly and he nodded slightly, as though he already had guessed. Kalila loved that picture of her cousin, it had been taken just after Eric had proposed and she looked so happy, her smile radiant.

If only anyone had known how bad it would get a few months later.

Without really thinking about it, he pulled out his faded leather wallet from his back pocket and opened it before handing it to Kalila. She studied the small picture in the little pocket carefully, the two kids covered in cake laughing like nothing could ever harm them. They looked the same; deep brown hair, twinkling dark blue eyes and identical smiles that stood out from under all the frosting on their faces.

"Alice," he spoke after a while, in exactly the same sad voice she had used when he was studying the picture of her cousin.

It hit her then, so strong her entire body shock with the force of revelation. The tiniest decisions could impact everything. If Natalie never had gone to that coffee shop as a teenager, she never would have met Eric. If she had never met Eric, her heart wouldn't have been broken and she wouldn't have killed herself. But what if something worse had happened? And what would Kalila be like if it had never happened? The same was true about Alice, she may have been alive if they hadn't been in the car at that moment. But if that was true then Alex wouldn't have been trying to kill himself that day and she may never have met him.

Instantaneously she felt her throat tighten as she realised something; in the past two months of knowing him, Alex Bates had come to mean a lot to her.

She shook her head slightly, refusing to let her mind think of that any further. 'Friends, just friends,' she chanted to herself, as though repeating the words would make her believe it more. Before Alex could comment on the conflicted expression on her face she heard the unmistakeable sound feet running up the stairs and before either of them could react, the door swung open.

"Hey Kalila mum said do you–" Annalise started to say until she realised the extremely close position her older sister and this random guy were in. After a minute of just staring at them she giggled, placing one hand on her hip and flipping her hair behind.

"Don't even bother trying with my sister, she's too nerdy to have a boyfriend. And you're hot, you should be with someone hotter. Like me, duh."

Although Anna was quite tall for being twelve it was fairly obvious that she was still a kid and the fact that Alex was still speechless after a couple of minutes was too much for Kalila to take. She tried to suppress her chuckle but the bewildered expression on his face made her almost fall over in a fit of laughter.

"Muuum! Anna's flirting with Lila's boyfriend!" Alex heard from behind Annalise. The girl turned around, revealing a little boy with messy hair clutching a blue teddy bear whose eyes widened at the glare his sister was shooting him.

"Heeeeelp!" he screamed as he ran away, Annalise on his tail, threatening him with every step she took.

Kalila looked over at Alex with both his eyebrows raised, mouth still open in surprise and grinned. "Good luck!" she laughed, pushing him out of the room as they went downstairs for dinner.