Suicide, Skittles and Skates [✓]

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

'I can't escape!'

That was the only thought going through Alex's mind a few days later. He covered his ears with his hands and squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as possible but it was no use. The flashbacks from the good times with Alice wouldn't stop playing over and over again almost as though they were taunting him. It was like his mind was reminding him that he would never make memories with his sister again.

She would never snort with laughter at Melissa's desperate flirting, he would never make fun of her crazy bed hair in the morning or yell at her for not closing the lid of the toothpaste again, she wouldn't make stupid faces at him or annoy him by singing as loud as her lungs let her.

Alice was gone forever and he still couldn't handle it.

She wouldn't have a chance to grow up, have a good job, fall in love, get married and pop out the standard 2.5 kids living in a house with a white picket fence and a golden retriever. She was frozen in time.

Without stopping to grab an umbrella or a jacket to shield himself from the pelting rain, Alex stumbled out of his front door. He walked briskly, trying to ignore his sister's laughter inside his head, almost running down his road to escape. He didn't know where he was going but somehow wasn't surprised to find himself standing opposite the ice-skating rink again.

Perhaps it was because this is where it all began.

"Let's go ice-skating Alex!" my sister yells in my ear, successfully waking me up from my sleep by making me jump off my bed in fright. I groan, hating the idea but knowing that nothing will ever change her mind so I give in and agree.

We're in the car, laughing at memories from when our dad took us as kids for the first time. Alice doesn't stop teasing me at the way I was terrified to let go of the railing on the edge and I refuse to admit I'll probably do the same thing a decade later.

Although I hate ice-skating, I love my sister so I suck it up for her sake. Since my mum and dad died, it had been the two of us and by sharing the same best friends, we were completely inseparable.

"Ugh where is the stupid place?" I complain, looking around for some road signs but failing to find any helpful ones. Refusing to ask for directions and ignoring her comments about me being such a guy, I tell her to grab the map at the back.

Still chattering about how excited she is to skate again, she unbuckles her seatbelt and turns around, reaching out for the half ripped map. She opens it out on the dashboard so we can see, muttering about how I didn't even say thanks.

"Thanks Alice, you know I'd just die without you right?"

And then it was all over, those words never once leaving my mind.

Alex looked down. Lost in his memories, his feet had started moving by themselves leading him to the edge of the roof above the train station again. With one foot suspended in the air, he imagined jumping.

He imagined the air rushing past as he flew down, his heartbeat pounding with the adrenaline rush. He imagined the happy families and groups of teenagers watching in horror as his body hit the tracks. He imagined the blood drops dancing in the air before staining the ground; the only reminder of his existence for the people of the future.

He imagined it and smiled, the suicidal urges inside him almost purring in happiness, begging him to step forward.

And then he imagined the look on Tyler's face when he found out, the tears he knew Lacey wouldn't be able to hold back. He could imagine them numb, unable to believe it, blaming themselves for not being a good enough reason to live.