Selfie Inflicted

13

I ran outside, down the stairs and out across the grass to the woods. I broke into the bracken and tumbled down logs till I found the path. I was wet, muddy already and the cold seeped through me.

But I was moving. Fast, faster than I should have. I ran so quickly that I slipped in puddles and grazed up against trees. It felt like I wasn't running so much as rolling, spinning and sliding through the woods uncontrolled.

The wind roared above me, howling in the tall branches. All around me it cut and sliced hissing angrily. They were whispers that I was hearing. Raspy, dry and antagonistic. The trees spoke all around me and the words they used were hateful and aggressive.

I knew that I could not stop running.

Then I saw the lights ahead, flickering through the woods. With each step they bobbed and moved and sometimes a large tree would loom ahead and for a moment the light would be snuffed out.

I kept moving, even when it felt like the rough branches were reaching out to grab at me, to pull on my hair and clutch at my coat.

And then I fell, hard and at an angle, my legs twisting beneath me. I crashed into the mud sending a bursting pain through me. I gasped in pain as I rolled onto my back. My ankle burned. I blinked and stared up at the sky, hidden by the branches. They swayed and shook, arcing out and entwining above. I closed my eyes.

I should stop. I could not outrun this. Could not survive it. I could just lie here. Wait here. Maybe if I made it easier, it would be easier for me. It would be simple to die alone, far from anyone.

And perhaps I wouldn't be alone. There was Lyza. And Ryan. Maybe I could be with them. Be with him. Perhaps forever.

A car horn blared and I opened my eyes.

I wouldn't stop. I pulled myself up and grabbed at a tree. The bark was rough and tore at my skin but I rose and began to move through the woods again.

Finally I spilled out of the woods and fell to the ground.

"Are you all right?"

I looked up to see a man walking his dog. He stared at me in surprise, this muddy crying girl.

"Do you need help?" He said again.

I sat up and the dog suddenly growled and snapped. I could see its jagged yellowed teeth, dripping with spit.

"Hey! Down! What on earth? I'm so sorry, he doesn't usually do this."

"I'm fine." I hissed, shocked at the sound of my own voice as I jumped to my feet.

Ahead I could see buildings of the town. I had to proceed.

I ran off leaving the man to tend to his furious dog. I moved into the streets quickly. Cars drove by and people walked around. There were cafes and restaurants with people happily seated eating their meals. I wondered if these might work but I knew I had to go deeper, somewhere more crowded.

It was Sunday, there would be a game on. I'd go to the market square, where they had open air bars and outdoor viewing. It was always busy, filled with students and workers and passers-by.

Something shifted ahead of me and I scrambled to move, weaving off the path onto the road. A car was reversing out, a metal ladder pointed out above it. I nearly fell on the cobbled path as a man shouted "Watch out!" I just cleared it and ran on.

I'd felt the metal ladder spin by my head, the edge catching a wisp of my hair. My scalp itched and I realise some hair had been torn out. An inch further and it would have been my skull.

I kept running. Across the street a woman with a baby in her pram stared at me with a look of pure hatred.