Selfie Inflicted

14

I reached the square. There was a huge noise, our team had scored no doubt. There were people everywhere, hundreds. The mood was bright, happy.

I felt like an outsider. Like I didn't belong.

All the bars and venues have opened up and their patrons spilled outdoors. There were food stalls and vendors. The smell was rich and I was suddenly starving. I passed by a street meat vendor and licked my lips. I saw a man eating a sandwich exploding with freshly carved meat and I thought about snatching it from his hands.

I tried to clean myself up. I wiped mud from my cheek and straightened up my hair, pulling burrs and leaves from it. I cleaned off my jacket as best I could.

Something burned within me. I felt its fire. My hands and fingers felt electric. When the wind rushed I felt it lift within me.

I moved into the throng, looking for the youngest people. There were couples and friends and groups of workers. Some were on their phones, but most were watching the screen, hoping for a conversion.

Something grabbed at me. I turned and saw a man dressed in a chef's uniform. He was holding my arm by my coat. He tried pulling me and I noticed a knife in his other hand.

Then there was a loud cheering and the crowd shifted. I managed to slip by and moved closer in. There was a table there, with a group of students. I think I knew some. Yeah, I knew them. An arrogant bunch. Guys that thought they were God's gift and girls who couldn't be more stuck up if they tried.

They were cheering our team. It looked like we would win with just moments to go. I saw the table and noticed it was piled high with beers and wines... and phones. I put the phone there and watched as the final seconds of the game ticked by.

I pulled the zipper down on my jacket. Grabbed someone's wine and I swallowed the whole thing.

I moved closer to a student, I think I vaguely knew him but wasn't sure. Donny? He played on one of the teams. I shimmied in front of him, leaned into him, my body against his. He looked down in surprise, then seemed to recognise me. He reached an arm close to me and pulled me closer.

"Hey, what's your name again?" he said.

I gave him a coy smile. It felt unnatural, unreal. Like I painted it on my face. He spoke again but my mind had been drifting elsewhere. Thinking. Planning.

Then I saw the chef, he was moving in from the crowd. His face was expressionless and he held one arm close by his side, the metal of the knife glimmering.

The crowd exploded with noise. The figures all around me jostled and pushed as people celebrated.

"We won!" cried one of the guys. Everyone was cheering and shouting. A girl grabbed her phone and took a photo of the screen. Cameras flashed throughout the crowd.

"Hey," I whispered to the student behind me. "Let's take a selfie!"

I gave him the phone and pulled close to him.

"Come on guys, get in!" he yelled and the group of friends stood closer in.

The man with the knife glared at me. He opened his mouth and words tumbled out but I couldn't hear them over the noise. He was just a few feet away. He struggled to move through the crowd.

I ducked down.

A light flashed. My eyes burned and I saw stars. I reached up and rubbed at them.

The man with the knife stared at me, unblinking. Then someone raised their arm in front of him to snap a photo and when they pulled it back the man stood there with a confused look on his face. He lowered his knife and moved carefully back through the crowd.

"Epic picture bro!" cried someone

"Hey, how come you didn't stay in?" asked the boy.

I shrugged as sweetly as I could and took the phone. I needed to see it. I swiped it open to see the photo.

Everyone looked amazing and full of life. It was almost perfect.

Not quite perfect. Not like the one Ryan, Lyza and I had taken.

They were gone, but I was still in our photo. And I'd taken a snap of that too back at my apartment. It was such a beautiful photo. I looked amazing. I'd post it later.

The wind howled and it sounded like it called my name.

I smiled and placed the phone on the table and slipped away into the crowd.