What If

Chapter 14

"And that's how logarithms work," I explained.

I had walked home with George that day, making awkward small talk as we went. We were both really shy. I think we were both just naturally like that around other people. It was cold and dreary so I was thankful when we finally got to his house.

His mom was home. She met me and said "Oh, what a pretty girl." She was extremely nice. I liked her a lot. Hmm, I had thought. It's too bad she doesn't know what an ass-douche her son is going to become so she can stop him before it's too late. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't risk changing the timeline.

Now I was sitting on George's bed, helping him with the new math homework. He was blushing at first. I think he was embarrassed about needing help with it or maybe it's just because he had a girl in his room. I was pretty sure he was still a virgin at this point.

"Thanks, Colleen," he said, finishing the problem. "I really needed this help."

I put on a smile and said "Sure. No problem."

Then he looked away for a moment and blushed a little and said "Can I ask you a question?"

I was caught off guard a little. I thought this was going to be specifically math tutoring, but I guess George had something else on his mind. "Sure."

"I-It's about Paul."

Of course it is, I thought. "Oh, okay. What about him?"

George got more and more nervous and started tapping his pencil on his notebook furiously. "Well . . . he told me what happened after the concert and . . . it just strikes me a little odd that you said no." He paused to look at my reaction. I slowly nodded, piecing together what he was saying. "I mean, no girl has ever said no to Paul before. Never. And I'm just wondering . . . what about him made you say no?"

Still nodding, I saw right through him. He was an open book. "Paul asked you to ask me, didn't he?" I asked.

George's face went bright red and his eyes went wide. "I guess you figured me out," he said. "But I am a little curious myself. I mean, Paul is a lady's man if I ever saw one. He's so good with the girls, he gets them every time. So it was a first that you said no."

I pointed at George's face and said "See? That's it right there. Paul's a lady's man. And I know it. He could get any girl he wants and get them to do anything he wants. But I'm different. Smooth words and good looks aren't enough to work on me. I'm quality, not quantity. But that's what Paul wants: quantity. I'm not what he's looking for. I'm not gonna put out the moment I see him like I'm sure most girls do. I don't want a guy like that. And that's what Paul is. He's that. Never in a million years would I ever date Paul. He's got about a thousand girls lined up to date him, I'm sure, so he won't be lost without me. If you're going to tell him anything, tell him not to try because it's not going to work."

George sat, stunned that anyone would ever say anything like that about Paul.

I realized right after that it was probably a mistake to talk about Paul like that to George. I'm sure he was going to tell him, but, God damn, it felt good to rant about it.

"I-I . . . I don't know what to say," George stammered. "You're the first girl to ever say something like that. What do they teach you in New York?"

Now that I could answer. "They teach us to stand up for ourselves and to take no shit from anyone at any time for any reason. Men and women alike demand to be respected. Always. A lesson that could surely be used here in England."

George was speechless, having nothing else to say other than "Wow."

"Mm-hmm," I said, looking back in the textbook for more math. It felt good to get that all out of my system, but I ranted myself out. I didn't want to cause any more trouble than what I've probably already caused.

One of the Beatles knew how I felt now and I felt terrific that he finally knew it. If one knew, that meant that soon all of them would know and it was about time that someone took a needle to their big, fat egos and popped them like sad, sad balloons.

"Do you still need help with your math homework?" I asked, getting back on target.

"Uh . . . yeah." George was still stunned, having trouble focusing on finding the next problem to do. For the rest of the afternoon, he never fully paid attention again. I think I shocked him a little too much. But, hey, it felt good.