Summer's Last Breath

Part 16

I didn't quite make it to my room. I sat at the top of the stairs and was a little surprised when I heard them come inside. Though I supposed it made sense my dad would want to reprimand Jamie in his office, away from the water where he was the undisputed authority. They closed the door behind them and I uselessly strained to hear what my dad was saying. My dad wasn't the type to raise his voice. Yelling was beneath him, and showed a lack of control, and he prided himself on staying in control. He had a way of conveying the importance of things without the use of volume. So I was left wondering and guessing. The most I could discern through the door was who was speaking at any particular moment. Other than that it was all mumbled droning. They went back and forth for a few minutes and then my dad said something and they both fell silent. The whole house was still and the hairs on my arms stood on end. The office door clicked open and light flooded the hallway. I rose and padded my way down the stairs, but by the time I got to the foyer Jamie had left through the front door.

 
My dad was still in his office. Taking a deep breath, I went to confront him. The door was cracked and I knocked softly before pushing the door the rest of the way open. He was sitting in his chair, elbows on his desk, fingers steepled under his chin. His thinking pose.


"What did you say?" 

 
"Not that I owe you an explanation, but Jamie's been suspended from the team until I decide what to do."


"What do you mean?" He couldn't kick him off the team, could he? I stepped up to his desk, resting my hands on the smooth wooded surface. "You can't do that. It means too much to him."

"Apparently not enough. He gave me no choice. This isn't a game. Those exercises you watch aren't preparing these boys to play a game. They will most likely face difficult life and death situations. Situations you can't even imagine. It's vital they trust each other. That they respect each other. That they play by the rules. Jamie broke the rules, and by doing that, he'll lose his teams respect. He can't go unpunished."


"Dad, that's not fair."


"You're right. He should be out for good. That would be fair. I'm not sure you've really thought this through or considered what the consequences would be for Jamie. Frankly, I'm disappointed in you, Erin. Not only for the position you've put Jamie in, but me as well."


Tears burned my eyes. He was right. I was selfish. I'd wanted Jamie for myself and now he was paying the price.


"I'll end it. You don't have to punish him. No one else has to know," I said, knowing it was too little too late. 


"I know. And Jamie knows. And as far as it ending, it's over," he said with finality. 


"Are you forbidding me to see him?" I set my back, jaw clenching, heart breaking. 


"Yes. I thought that was clear."


"If it was Donovan or Lassiter, would you still be acting like this? Forbidding me to see him?"


He rose from his chair, fixing his gaze on me. "Do I really need to answer that?"


No. It had been a stupid accusation, one fueled by panic and defiance. My shoulders slumped. Maybe if Jamie and I had come to him in the beginning, we could have persuaded him to loosen up on his rules. But now, my dad would stand his ground, if only on principle. The question was, would I, knowing deep down that my dad was right?


"I love him, Dad." I blinked back the sting of tears. Tears wouldn't get me anywhere with my dad. Not with this. 


"I know you think you do, but you're only sixteen."


"I know what I feel. I don't know what age has to do with it. I know I love Mom. I know I love you and I know how I feel about Jamie." 


"Though I'm disappointed as hell, I love you too. But that has nothing to do with the situation at hand. This is business. Jamie willfully disobeyed a direct command. You did too for that matter. I'm done talking about this."


He didn't voice it. His eyes said it all. I was dismissed. I'd seen him in action enough to know that. I stalked for the door, stopping before I left, leaving him to his rules and disappointment. "I won't stop to seeing him."


"We'll see about that."