#My_Heros

Jared Padalecki

This story is for my new (and amazing) friend Jean_Moriarty369.

It all started back when I was six. My stepdad was a train conductor, and would be gone for a few days. My mom was neglectful, and would never come out of her room. I never knew my actual father.I had to single-handedly take care of my little sister. I was the one to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I bathed her, supervised her and kept her entertained. I also cleaned the house so my dad wouldn't be mad when he got home.He is an army vet, so he's OCD when it comes to our house. But I cleaned it, and my mom got the credit. I had to grow up pretty fast in my house. There was no time for playing.

Then It was time for me to go to school for kindergarten. My mom had actually gotten out of bed to take care of my sister while I was gone. But I had to walk half a mile to and from the bus stop.

At school, everyone made fun of me. I didn't know how to work a washing machine yet, so I had to use dirty clothes. And trust me, I stunk. I also had ADHD, so I was really hyper. I thought I could finally play with other kids my own age. Truth to be told, I had never actually played with any other kids, other than my sister. But she was a toddler. So everyone thought I was crazy and insane.But on the bus ride home, I met my friend. She was younger than me, and her mom didn't come pick her up either. I went and took her home, then went home myself. It was almost a mile.When I got home, my mom had already locked the door to her room. I had to take care of my sister AND do my homework AND clean.This went on for about a few years.In third grade, I had to move to a whole different school. I was Kind of happy because I could finally get away from the bullies.But it was worse at my new school. They hit me, and shoved me, and called me names. I was the outcast of the entire school.But one day, when my sister had fallen asleep, a T.V show I had never seen before came on. I had lost the remote, so I couldn't change the channel. I had decided to watch it instead.It was this show called Gilmore Girls, and it was a marathon starting from season one.I fell in love with it. I especially liked Dean Forester, one of the characters. He was my favorite. I can't remember why, he just was.A few months later, I found out Dean left the show. I almost cried.

About fourth grade, I was diagnosed with chronic depression. Most of the time I never smiled or laughed. I never ate or slept and it was starting to take a toll on my health. One day, I was sitting behind a girl in class. On her binder was a picture of a guy. It was the actor that starred as Dean. I asked the girl what his name was and she replied "Jared Padalecki". The name stuck in my head since then. (I think it's because the last name was fun to say)

In fifth grade, I was folding laundry when my sister came in the room crying her eyes out. I asked her what was wrong and she screamed "Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce!"My sister burst into sobs in my lap. I cried along with her. I didn't want our family to split up, for her sake.

In the months after that, my depression got worse. My parents were screaming at each other and fighting all the time. They would throw foldable steel chairs and lamps and everything at each other. I had to tell my sister constantly that it was going to be okay, but I knew it wasn't true.

My mom had cheated on my stepdad 5 different times while I was at school. She would drop my sister off at our neighbor's house.My stepdad had tried to commit suicide, and he went to a local mental institution for a month.When he got back, he wanted to make up with our mom for the kid's sake. But she was already packing her bags and getting ready to live with her boyfriend in California. At the airport on the day she left, we all cried watching her leave. But she was smiling. She didn't cry at all.My stepdad's new girlfriend moved down to live with us. She brought along her five daughters too.By now, my depression got so bad, they had to send me to the same institution my dad went to. I was there for a few weeks. They let me go saying I was fine, but I wasn't. I had lied my way out. I pretended not to be sad.I remember going on my laptop one night, and going to Netflix. I didn't know what to watch, so I emailed my one friend and asked her for suggestions. She told me Supernatural was a good one. I watched five minutes of it, when I realized Jared Padalecki was in it. I was honestly extremely happy. His character, Sam, automatically became my favorite.My depression was okay to handle. My eighth grade year I moved to a new state. They were really nice to me, unlike my old school I tortured myself to bear with. I actually became normal.

I hadn't heard from or seen my mom in almost 3 years, so the day when she came back and acted like nothing happened, I hit rock-bottom. My depression went through the roof. I started self- harm and became suicidal.

Everyone asked me if i was okay. I just said yes, because puting on a fake smile is so much more easier than explaining.My friend came over to my house to comfort me one day. She said that she wishes that i would feel better. I told her I wish that too, But i am also happy that she can't feel what i'm feeling. The feeling of falling and not stopping, but you know you're gonna hit the ground eventually.She smiled and said she knew someone who did know what i was going through. She pulled out her phone and i saw the name that's been following me around since childhood.I started crying, because i found out that Jared has chronic depression too. He has a campaign called Always Keep Fighting, to rais awareness for depression and anxiety. I felt so happy that i was not alone, that there are other people too. My friend saw this and made me a poster that had one of his quotes on it. It said: "I say constantly that there's no shame in dealing with these things. There's no shame in having to fight every day, but fighting every day, and presumably, if you're still alive to hear these words or read this interview, then you are winning your war. You're here. You might not win every battle. There are going to be some really tough days. There might be several tough times in any given single day, but hopefully, this will help somebody to think, "This isn't easy; it is a fight, but I'm going to keep fighting,"So now, thanks to Jared, when i'm depressed, instead of harming myself, I touch my battle scars and remind myself "Always keep fighting. I can win this fight"So thank you Jared for reminding me that I'm not alone, and for inspiring me to keep going.