Play For My Heart

[PFMH] Eight

Jess's P.O.V

Rubber-coated chains clench under my fists while I twist in my blue swing and autumn leaves blur into a mess of red and gold under my feet.  Soon I'm dizzy, but I keep spinning. As long as I'm moving, I won't have to think about what I have to do...

Suddenly, my head jerks to the side and the swing stops. When I manage to open my eyes, I see Aaron.

It takes a few seconds for my head to stop spinning, but when I can see straight, I realize three things: Aaron's hand is covering my fist on the swing chain, his eyes are so close to mine, and he's actually here.

A squeak/yelp comes out of my mouth and I jerk back in the swing seat. Before I know it, my back is on the ground, along with the back of my head.

I spit the dirt out of my mouth and mutter viciously under my breath while Aaron helps me up. He keeps a firm grip on my elbow until I can stand up on my own. Then, he lets go, and I suddenly feel like crying. So this is it. I think. This is how it ends. Right now.

"Aaron.." I start to say.

"Shh." he interrupts. My eyes widen in shock when he puts a finger up to my lips. "Let me do the talking for a minute."

And talk, he does.

He tells me that he heard me in the park. It's suddenly hard to breathe. 

He apologizes. A lot. I try to keep the smug expression off my face when he twists his face and apologizes for being an asshole.

And then... he stops. Aaron looks... uncomfortable. It really doesn't fit on his face.

"Jaxter?" I say. "Spit it out."

Some odd expression flashes across his face and then he blurts out a sentence that slips ice inside my veins.

"I'm falling for you."

All I can do is stand where I am and stare. Aaron Jaxter, the school jock, jerk, and player... is falling for me? This was just supposed to be an innocent dare...

Before I can form a sentence, Aaron starts blabbering again.

"But that doesn't mean I have to hold you back or anything. I know you want to break off the dare, and that's okay. I just wanted you to know. I don't know if you'll change your mind or whatever, but I didn't want you to not know how I feel.." He stops and pushes air out of his mouth in a huff. "This is hard."

I stop gnawing on my bottom lip and nod my head. "Yeah, it is. Especially because.. I could have fallen for you if I'd tried.  But I can't let myself now. It wouldn't be good for either of us."

Woah. Did I really just say that?

While I watch, something in his eyes seems to shatter. "At least we know now. But you're right. I think."

I start biting my lip again and tilt my head slightly to the side. "So.. what now, Aaron?"

A muscle in his jaw flexes and I swallow. Hard.

"We say goodbye." He mutters. His voice is husky, like there's something stuck in his throat.

"I hate goodbyes." I say. 

Aaron doesn't reply. Instead, he grabs me in his arms and holds on tight. I'm so startled it takes me a minute to realize what's going on, but then I wrap my arms around his neck and tuck my face into his shoulder. His breath is hot in my ear. I've never been this close to him. I... I like it.

We stand together for too long, but it isn't near long enough. Before he finally lets go, Aaron turns his head and puts his lips against my skin, right next to my own lips. He murmurs, "Don't forget me." and then breaks away. Suddenly, he's gone. I shake my head and look up. One second, he's running to his car. The next, he's gone.

My body waits approximately seven seconds before falling to the ground. Then I'm crumpled like a paper ball, useless and on the ground. The tears start falling and I start coughing, somehow trying- and failing- to chuck the awful truth out of my throat.

I don't know how I get home, but somehow I end up alone in my room with a locked door and my nose shoved into a pillow. I know I'm supposed to dramatically drift into a nightmare-filled sleep now, but my brain just won't shut off. Time's supposed to fly by, but when I look up at the clock after what seems like two hours, it's only been two minutes.

Why can't I just be okay now? I'm supposed to be relieved! What's wrong with me? I think frantically.

***

A few hours later, I find myself in front of a blank canvas with a paintbrush in each hand.

The next morning, I wake up with my face pasted to the still-wet canvas. It takes me five minutes to peel my cheek off the half-dried paint, but after I do I don't even bother washing it off. Instead, I pour paint all over the painting, throw the tube across the room, and pull on my running clothes. I leave my door wide open and sprint down the street until I come to the woods by my house. After a few minutes of darting between trees, I stop and plunk myself down on the forest floor.

I pull my phone out of my shorts and wipe the last of my tears from my face. Now it's time to move on, Jess. I tell myself. Be strong. You chose him. Now let him know what you've done. 

So, with shaking hands, I call Justin.

When I hang up, my eyes are surprisingly dry, but my heart feels shattered. I know it'll take a long time to heal, and there'll always be a scar, but I also know that Justin is the one to heal me. Not Jaxter.

It takes forever for Justin to find me, and while I'm waiting a pine cone falls on my head. But when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, I forget my pounding head. Instantly I know that no matter how hard it was to push aside my growing feelings for Aaron Jaxter, being with Justin will make it worth it.

"Hey." I say. My voice is hoarse from all the sobbing I've been doing.

"Hey." Justin answers.

We're great with words, the two of us. Really.

I giggle and he smirks.

We're great with expressing ourselves too. Really.

Eventually, we get past our awkwardness. I jump on his back and he carries me to his car. I have a death grip on his neck the whole time so I won't fall off, and when I finally let go he gripes about not being able to breath.

"Pansy." I mutter.

Justin smirks over at me and then jerks his steering wheel to the left. I might have screamed.

When he sets the car straight again, I start punching his arm.

That's pretty much how the car ride goes- he teases me, I punch him. He turns on the music, I change the station. Yup.

Honestly though, it's a pretty happy ending for me. I get to be with an amazingly sweet guy. What more could I ask for?

******

Hey guys! So, it's me, the author. I just wanted to say some stuff before I end this and tick a few people off!

Don't worry! I'm not going to just end this horribly! There's another chapter after this, and while it's sad and adorable and I will most likely be murdered by a friend for writing it.. it'll be an ending! So hold on for a day or two, and then you'll have your ending and I can go back and edit! Sound good? I hope so!

Keep reading you guys! And thank you SO much for everything!

-Alyssauthor <3