Safe Haven

Thirteen

Oh.

My.

God.

He was kissing me! Well, actually, not really, since his mouth was pretty much just pressed against mine...and he wasn't puckering his lips or anything. Now that I think about it, his eyes were open.

Oh shit, my eyes are open too!

I quickly shut them to avoid awkward eye contact. What was I supposed to do? Do I kiss him back? But he's not kissing me! Why am I still sitting here?! We're supposed to be running away!

I pressed my palms against his hard...hard chest and pushed away. He grabbed my face to keep me there. What the? I pushed again, a little harder this time. He grabbed my waist.

Okay, what the Hell?

I shoved him, "What kind of 'plan' is this?!"

"Put your hands in my hair."

"What--"

"Put your hands in my hair!" he commanded and I squeaked, hesitantly slipping my fingers into his black silky locks. "Blend in."

"B-blend in with what?" I stuttered, trying not to stare into his eyes or let on how embarrassed I felt. Aiden subtly tilted his head to our surroundings and my mouth popped open. We were in an alleyway where all the 'intimate couples' went to make-out.

This also meant that he wasn't trying to kiss me because he wanted to; he just pressed his face to mine so we'd be hidden in an unsuspecting crowd of people who had a reason not to show their faces. The police would assume that we're trying to blend in with the parade onlookers, or trying to lose them in the crowd--not stationary in  an alleyway fake kissing.

I hated the disappointment that burned in my stomach.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

Sighing, I figured that I might as well pretend to make it more believable. I twined his short curls around my fingers and tugged softly; they were as soft as I thought they were--soft and silky and--

"I think we're clear."

"Oh--" I dropped my hands and smoothed them on my thighs. This was so awkward. He cleared his throat and stepped away from me like I smelled bad or something. Well, maybe I did. When his back was turned I quickly checked my breath.

God damn it! It was awful! Ugh I can't believe he could stand to be that close to me! No!

Aiden peered around the corner to see if we had a safe get away and I was too busy kicking myself over all these stupid feelings that were bombarding my thoughts. I felt so dumb.

I slinked behind Aiden to the sidewalk in silence--too mortified to say anything to him. He chose another little plain car that was too old for me to recognize what kind it was, but it didn't matter because I wanted to bludgeon myself. Why was I even stressing about any of this? He didn't actually like me, he just wanted to tease me for his own entertainment. That's all that I was. I was only entertainment to him.

I felt a little better and more in control of my feelings when I put it that way; it made it easier for me to get over this weird... Stockholm syndrome thing I had going on. I mean, admitting that I was probably suffering from a disease was probably not my highest point in my 18 years of living, but a lot has happened lately.

He doesn't like me, and I don't like him. He doesn't like me and I don't like him.

Aiden blew out a heavy breath, "Sorry."

We were talking about this now? "It's fine... it wasn't that bad."

"I wish I grabbed those too."

I blushed. Was he talking about my breasts? Does he want me in that way? "Um...I'm sure we can do that later." I stammered, a blush bleeding into my cheeks.

"How can we go back? The car was probably taken into custody already."

Ohhhh....so he wasn't talking about hooking up later...

My face turned read all the way up to my hair line. How could I be so stupid!? Thinking about that right now, of all times!? Oh so stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!!! I palmed my forehead in shame. Thankfully, Aiden didn't seem to notice since his focus was on the road.

"I guess we can try to get more necessities later... after we get out of New Mexico and lay low for a bit. I assume they'll comb through there for a week or 2 before they realize we aren't there anymore." he mused while I pressed my forehead against the window. I wanted nothing more than to be done with this whole thing. I yearned to be home with my family again, to have a normal, simple life.

We drove in silence-- since the car didn't have a radio, and because I refused to say anything to him. This had to be strictly professional for now on; no more flirting or teasing or admiring how terribly beautiful he was when I thought he wasn't looking. I was getting over this now and the sooner we could go our separate ways, the better.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

"We can't stop at a hotel or anything again for a while, so I hope you're okay with sleeping in the car." Aiden said, as we passed into Colorado. I shrugged in response, and reclined my chair to get comfortable. At least this time we weren't sharing a bed. He pulled off to the side of the road so we'd be hidden behind the thicket of trees and killed the engine. I heard him lean back in his chair and get comfortable, and a few moments later, his steady breathing filled the cramped space.

In.

1.2.3.

Out.

1.2.3.

In.

1.2.3.

Out.

It was so soothing that my own eyelids got heavy and soon drifted closed.