Safe Haven

Seventeen

Delirium.

Aiden's kisses were like a drug. I was excited but relaxed; just swimming in all the feelings of the moment.  

His lips were soft and firm as they pressed and probed against my own. His nose tickled my cheeks, his hands gripped my sides, and the butterflies I felt rioting in my belly demanded to be set free. I gripped fistfuls of his black cotton shirt to keep myself grounded. This was amazing--I couldn't believe he was kissing me with so much yearning and passion, but he was also taking his time and savoring me like I was some kind of exotic fruit.

I was inexperienced and didn't know how to kiss, but Aiden seemed more than happy with taking control. The soft growls and sweet murmurings that I couldn't decipher encouraged me to do more, so I tentatively ran my hands through his hair; tugging on the silky waves and scratching his scalp. He groaned and held me tighter; giving me the surge of courage to bite his lip and pull like they do in the movies.

Aiden's whole mood changed from sweet and gentle to hard and urgent in a heart beat. He tensed, and swore under his breath before attacking me with such ravishing power that I lost my breath. He practically tackled me onto the hay bed and trailed kisses up my neck, his hands skimming my stomach, his teeth grazing my jaw, his hips grinding into mine. My eyes fell closed as warmth bloomed in my stomach and my blood felt like syrup in my veins.

Oh. My. God.

I could feel his heart beating in tandem with mine as our bodies tangled in a dance of sheer want. Aiden's hands were inching up my ribs, his lips traveling to my ear only to bite on the lobe. I was overwhelmed with all the new sensations of his sinful touch that an embarrassing moan jumped out of my mouth.

A sharp intake of breath, and Aiden stopped, seeming to be awakened from a dream. He stared down at me with heavily hooded eyes and swollen lips. I was breathing hard, taking in the sight of him wedged between my legs, my shirt hiked up right beneath my breasts, and my tights pulled down a little lower on my hips.

"Sorry... I just got carried away..." He breathed, his voice husky and his stare glazed.

"N-no, it's okay." I whispered, blushing furiously and trying not to squirm. Aiden stayed there for a moment longer before rolling away from me, careful to keep his back turned. He stood up and paced for a bit with his hands on top of his head. I watched him curiously all the while. When he patted the front of his jeans and sighed, I gasped at the sudden understanding.

He wants me. He wants me. He wants me.

I felt a coy smile tug at my lips as I straightened my clothes. I was a little disappointed that he stopped, but it was probably for the best; I didn't want my first time to be in a dirty barn house, and besides, I still had so much to learn.

"I can't sleep with you tonight." He blurted, scrubbing his hand down his face, "I don't think I'll be able to stop myself next time."

I shivered at the thought of Aiden continuing and writhed when the butterflies returned. Aiden groaned and thumped a wooden pillar with his fist and sighed loudly.  

"You sleep there, and I'll try my best to stay over here." He instructed, his eyes scoring my body once more. I sat up on my elbows and gazed right back. He looked like a predator as he stalked back over to me; his eyes a golden fire of lust and his muscles taught. He captured my lips in one last possessive kiss, then groaned loudly, tearing himself away and leaving me breathless again. Aiden grumbled to himself as he made his way to an abandoned horse stable, settling in a corner and crossing his arms. I bit my lip and made myself comfortable; a dopy smile stuck on my face.

"Goodnight." I whispered, my heart still thumbing in my throat.

"Pleasant dreams." he murmured from the darkness, and I curled up with the feeling of his watchful eyes on my form

I was relieved to wake up with no spiders or rats attempting to nest in my hair. My back was a little stiff and I felt dirty, but the feelings of elation still shined bright in my heart.

We kissed. He likes me. I like him. What now?

"Hey, I'm glad you're awake. We need to get moving." Aiden said, chewing on some beef jerky. I smiled and went to him, grabbing a granola bar for myself. It looked like we were running low on food.  

I watched him closely; wondering if there was supposed to be any change between us. Were we supposed to call each other pet names now? Do I kiss him GoodMorning? Do we hug? Should I hold his hand?

I gnawed on my fibrous food and stared holes into the side of his head.

What now? What now? What now? What now?

"We should probably get a new car too. That one is low on gas, and it smells weird." He was saying to himself.  

I should make the first move--to test the waters.

I took a deep breath, "Sure thing..." Here goes nothing, "babe."

Silence.

Oh shit, play it off!

I forced myself to keep a neutral face as I finished my granola and slowly sorted the trash that's accumulated over the past few days.

Say something...!

Aiden sighed, which made me panic. I was about to get rejected.

"Shahana--"

A hysteric laugh fell out of my mouth and I was talking--like diarrhea, it couldn't be stopped.  

" I was just kidding, so it's fine, I wasn't serious at all-- I was making a joke, so haha, it was funny, and now it's over, so." I nervously shoved my hair away from my face and quickly scooped up our bags and made way to the car.

"Shahana, wait." I paused, my shoulders hunched and my neck stiff.  

God I screamed insecurity.  

A gentle hand on the small of my back turned me to face him. 

Aiden's eyes were soft, like he could see into my heart and knew how unsure I felt. He twined one of my curls around his finger before speaking.

Heart break, here I come.

"I know what happened last night has led you to believe that we are now a couple, but Shahana, can't you see that these aren't exactly normal circumstances?"

I stared at my feet.

"If we had a normal meeting, I'd take you on dates, I'd steal a kiss, I'd hold your hand and let any man who looked at you know that you were mine. I'd meet your parents and we'd continue from there. But while we're trying to get you to safety and worrying about what car we'll get next or the next place we're gonna stay, I think it wouldn't be fair to you if I was your boyfriend since I can't do boyfriend things."

He was right. He was completely right, but I couldn't help but fear that when we did have time, he wouldn't want to be together. We came from different worlds, and I wasn't sure how we'd fit.

Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. He was the first boy I've ever really liked--well, besides David Blake in 5th grade, but he only flicked his boogers on me. We seemed to have evolved past booger flinging. 

I couldn't allow myself to be hurt over this; there were more important things at stake here.

But that didn't stop my heart from deflating.

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AHH!! You don't understand how hard it was for me to write such an intimate scene!! >.< I was soooo embarrassed, so ya'll BETTER vote and comment or SOMETHING! Damn.