My Darling, My Dear

"She"

Ellana was traipsing through skyhold when the baby went into one of its kicking fits. Cullen had said if she ever did this, to find him. The problem was, he could be working with the troops, or in his office, or in our room, or at the war table, or just wondering skyhold as she was. Just then Liliana walked by, and knowing she knew what the king has for breakfast every morning, I asked if she knew were Cullen was. "He's in the Great hall with his family." She said. His family? They've never been here before, but nonetheless, I went to meet him.

In the Great Hall I found him with what I assumed to be his family, all gathered around Cullen, listening very intently to whatever he was saying, his face glowing with joy. As I approached, Cullen took notice, and instantly said, "Ahh, there you are, I wanted to introduce you to my family, mom, dad, this is Inquisitor Ellana, Ellana, this is my family. Them, my mother, Jack, my father, and my siblings, Mia, Branson, and Rosalie."

"Hi, its very nice to meet you all, but I'm afraid I have something to show you, Commander." I said turning to Cullen. "Please excuse us." I walked a few feet away from where we were standing. Luckily the baby hadn't stopped kicking. She never seemed to quit these days.

"What's wrong?" he asked concern crossing his face. I took his hand and placed it on my partially swelled belly. He was confused at first, then a feeling I could not name, and he probably couldn't either, crossed his face. Maybe joy and pride, but its hard to say. "Thank you." he said a smile spreading across his lips as he leaned in to kiss me deeply, stopping only to breathe a handful of times. We heard a giggle and remembered where we were. As we turned, a blush spread across my cheeks, and got hotter as I realized they all were watching.

"I'll leave you to your family. Maker knows you haven't seen them for years anyway." I said, excusing myself.

"Ok, if you must. Oh and if that ever happens again, just say Leah, and I'll come, no questions asked." I nodded, knowing he would. Leah was the name we had picked should it be a girl, as we both though it would be, though no one knew that we had picked names. I moved to go to the war table, turned, and that's when I realized, Cullen was following me. He had told his family he had some important work to do, and had told the soldier passing through where they would be staying, and to please guide them there.

"Are you going to stop?" he asked "because I don't think we have a meeting scheduled." he said with a touch of mirth in his eyes. It took me a moment to realize what he meant. I nodded.

"Its not that I want to..."

"Its that you have to." He finished. I nodded. He was always first to understand me and my reasoning, though I never knew how, but it always made me feel happy.

"Will you go get Liliana and Cassandra?" I asked.

"Of course" He answered.

In the war room, Cullen stood next to me instead of his usual place across the table. "I have an announcement." I began. "As of next week, I will no longer be out exploring with my party, and our troops. I am too far along in my pregnancy for it to be safe any more, and I would rather not have my child in the middle of the western approach." I thought that last part would add some humor to it.

"But who will lead us when we are out in the field?" Said Cassandra.

"I will still lead, though I will be doing such from here. Honestly I should have stopped a while ago, but I did go for as long as was considered safe. You all should have been expecting this sooner or later. I am truly sorry."

"Who will close the rifts?" asked Josephine. Truth was, I was not as prepared for that question as I thought I would be. While we closed a number of rifts before, and after defeating Corypheus, there was still quite a few we had not been able to close.

"Do your best to avoid all rifts you come across, and mark them on our maps. Cassandra, I believe I have showed you all the best ways to avoid the rifts?" I asked, facing her.

"You have, Inquisitor." She agreed, nodding.

"Good. If the rift is interfering with your expeditions, and you must go through them, fight until the end of the wave, and continue on as fast as you can. It will be difficult, I understand that, but if you ever need any help, please use the crows to send me a message, and I will reply as soon as possible. Is everyone understood?"

"Yes" I heard everyone say.

"Good. Please spread the word to our soldiers. Cullen, I think you can handle that."

"Yes, Inquisitor. I'll tell the captains, and they can get it to our troops." said Cullen saying the first thing all meeting long.

"And I will ensure that all of our people know" Cassandra added.

"Good. You are dismissed" I said with finality.

After the meeting, I had to escape somewhere private. I couldn't go to my room, and have Cullen, or anyone for that matter, barge in on me. I couldn't go to one of the empty towers because most were taken by the new recruits pouring in by the day, and I couldn't stay here when anyone could, and would come looking for me. I had to go where no one would find me. Then I remembered. There was a small cave not far from here, that no one knows of except for me. I often go there to think over decisions I find particularly hard to find an answer to. Now, however, I would be going for a reason I couldn't imagine myself going for. "Denet," I called

"Ahh Inquisition, what can I do for you?" he asked so kindly.

"I need my horse saddled and ready for riding."

"Are you journeying out again?" he asked.

"Ohh no no, I won't be doing that again anytime soon." I said rubbing my swollen belly protectively.

Thankfully, he caught my meaning. "Ahh yes, I had forgotten. If you don't mind my asking, where might you be going?"

"Oh just to check on the troops" Since we moved to skyhold, the troops have been living outside its walls. Only the fleet of people higher up on the hierarchy, and the new recruits stayed within skyhold's walls.

"Well have a good ride."

" I will." I said.

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Once I got out of sight of anyone in Skyhold, I started to gallop on my trusted Ferleden Forwarder, Lily. She knew exactly where to go. We've been there so many times she had it memorized, and she just ran there. When we got there, I jumped off her, and ran into the cave, tears already sliding down my cheeks. Lily, normally afraid of caves, just walked right on in like it was nothing. She nuzzled me until I was feeling better. Soon I heard horses, then my name being called. Why would someone be calling my name, I hadn't been gone long. I went to investigate. I walked out of the cave and saw Cullen galloping towards me on his horse, a few soldiers and, was that Cole, following behind him. Once he reached me, he jumped straight off his horse and ran to me asking if I was alright, tears in his eyes.

"I'm fine, now can someone tell me what's going on?" I asked.

"I came to look for you after the meeting, but the horsemaster said you had left to check on the troops, and when I went down there and asked everyone if they had seen you and no one had, and I became worried and so I sent out people to look for you, and I was just so worried." Cullen hugged me again, tears threating to spill down his cheeks. He was talking so fast she hadn't been sure she heard him right.

"Well I'm fine. And I'm sorry for taking off, I just, I needed to think." He looked up at me with perfect understanding. And I loved him for it. He slid his hand to the small of my back and kissed me deeply. One of the soldiers had said they would be over there a little ways away, but we barely heard him. Only Cole stayed where he was on his horse. We hadn't noticed him walking towards us until he spoke.

"She loves him so much that she carries a small part of him. He loves her so much that he let her carry a small part of him. They don't like leaving each other. She doesn't like it when you cry. She feels it, and she doesn't like it. She wants to make you happy. It's why she kicks for so long. She knows it brings you joy." he said now looking towards me. It took me a moment to comprehend, and it seems like we both did in the same moment.

As Cole walked away, Cullen lifted me into his arms, whispering, "We're going to have baby girl." and he started crying all over again