Whipped

Chapter 6

I woke up in the morning feeling like complete and total elephant shit. My head ached, and my nose was all stuffy. I sat up in bed and coughed a couple of times, which made my throat burn and my head throb. Just my luck that I would get sick from dancing in the rain. I bet Colby is as energetic as ever. Looking around the room, I decided it was way too bright for me. The sunlight was hurting my eyes. I dragged myself out of bed and walked over to the French doors that led to my balcony, closing the thin sheer curtains. They were really translucent and didn't make too much of a difference, but I figured it was better than nothing. I was too lazy to close the matching curtains on the window located on the other side of my bad, so I just climbed back into the soft, heavenly abyss I called a mattress and rested my sore head on the foam pillows. What in the world am I gonna do today? Do I even have the energy to do anything? What time is it?

I glanced over to my digital clock on my nightstand and saw that it was already two o'clock in the afternoon. Well hot damn! Usually Bradleigh would've woke me up by now! Where is she? She better not be off having fun without me! I noticed that there was a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin on the nightstand. Under the glass was a small purple index card. On it was a note from Susan. It read: Hey there kiddo (: I went to run a few errands out of town. I wanted to ask if you would have liked to come along, but I noticed that you have a bit of a fever. I left you some aspirin. Don't overdose on it, you hear me? Just kidding. I know you wouldn't do that. Well take care of yourself while I'm gone and get better kay?

Wow. So I was left alone while I'm sick. That's just great. Totally spiffy. After wallowing in my silent aloneness, I noticed a small yellow index card on the nightstand too. What is with this family and colored index cards? This time the note was from Bradleigh. It read: Howdy! Sorry but me and Leah went to the amusement park. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come but Mom said that you're sick. Get better soon! And let us know if you start getting really bad flashbacks again, okay? We'll come right back home if that happens. You shouldn't have to go through that by yourself.

I smiled slightly at the thought that they would come rushing back if I needed them. I knew I would, but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to bring myself to spoil their fun. It just wouldn't be right. No, I would just have to deal with this on my own.

Maybe I won't even have that many flashbacks, I thought.

Deep down inside I knew that was a lie. Without Bradleigh and Leah to distract me, my memories would have free reign to take over. Anything and everything would remind me of home, and I could do nothing to fight off the onslaught of mental attacks. The truth was that I needed Bradleigh and Leah. I needed them to keep me sane. Without them, I would be stuck in my misery and memories with no way out. Over the past few days, I had realized that somewhere inside me there was a deep feeling of remorse. I almost constantly feel this intense dread inside of me. I couldn't quite place where the feelings stemmed from, but I figured they must come from the mess of memories I was unable to unlock. I also realized that I didn't want to face those memories or those feelings on my own. I wasn't sure when I began to depend on them, but Bradleigh and Leah were beginning to feel more and more like a family to me. Even Susan, who I barely interacted with (I suspected she wanted to give me my space) showed her love in the little things like making cappuccinos and writing me little notes. With them gone, it would feel like being separated from my family all over again, and the flashbacks would be forced upon me. I would just have to suck it up and brace myself for the pain I was bound to feel. Every memory I relived was stronger and more vivid, almost to the point where they physically hurt. At most, I would get a dizzy feeling after a flashback and I would feel nausea, but without any distractions I was afraid the pain would be much worse.

In an attempt to escape all of my negative thoughts, I decided to spend the day the same way I would if I was sick back home: by lounging around the house and doing pretty much nothing productive. It would be a complete lazy day.