Seeking Asylum

Hydrotherapy

It has to be before five in the morning. I can tell it's early morning, but the sun won't be up for at least another hour. Everything is so quiet and still. I begin to think of how many others there must be in the rooms around me. I could do anything I wanted and they would never know, if I was quiet enough. That warm sensation starts again and stops at my pelvis. I couldn't help but to take advantage of this opportunity for quiet and calm.

I slid the sheets off my legs. I watched myself in the mirror, like I did the day before, as I slipped my white gown off. I moved my bottom up to remove the white undergarments the asylum also provided. I position myself so that I'm facing the mirror. The sensation grows hotter between my legs as I think of all the people that must be around, but they have no idea what I'm doing.

I open my legs and just look at myself. I couldn't hold myself back. I lightly placed a finger over that sensitive spot and began to make slow circles. The euphoric sensation caused me to throw my head back. The circles became harder and faster, which caused my mouth to open. I raised my legs straight in the air and dipped a finger into my wet entrance. As I started to go faster, closer to climax, my breathing picked up.

The door opens. It's the same woman from yesterday. "Rise and shi-oh." She steps back into the hallway and calls for two men named Henry and John. My brain processes that a person just walked in and that two more people are coming, but my body doesn't get the message. I can't stop. I have to finish what I've started. The two men rush in.

One of them is holding a white jacket. He puts it down so that he can help the other man restrain me. They tug my arms away from my body. I thrash my pelvis up and down at the cruel punishment of not making it to climax. The two men struggle to get my gown back on as I fight against them to finish myself off. They're too strong. The woman hands them the jacket after they get my dress on. The sleeves cross in the front and are fastened together around the back.

They get me to my feet and guide me forcefully down the hall. They force me into a room. There is no furniture, not even a window. It is just a box with a heavy, metal door. I begin to cry as they shut the door and I hear the click of what must be a lock.

"No, no, no, please!" I yell. "I haven't done anything wrong! I can't help it!" This continues for about half an hour.

Screaming and crying have yet to get me anywhere, so I sit on the floor and wait. I wait and wait. I wait for six hours. A man in a nice suit comes in. He kneels beside me.

"Hello, Caroline. I'm Doctor Ridgeway. I'll be your psycho-therapist during your stay at Amhearst. I'd like to talk to you a little bit if I may before you go to your first treatment session. Is that alright?"

"I've been waiting for hours for someone to talk to me. Of course it's alright, Doctor," I can feel how tired my body is from inactivity just by speaking.

"I read over some of your papers before I came down here and it says that your father is the one that admitted you. Is that correct?" I can tell he already knows the answer, but I humor him.

"Yes."

"And under the reason for admission section," he pauses," I've got to say we don't see this very often for women."

"What did he put?" My confusion grows by the minute.

"You're unaware? Do you know why you're in this room, Miss Pendleton?" Doctor Ridgeway looks concerned.

"To tell you the truth, Doctor, I'm not too sure," I can tell by the way his face changes this isn't a good answer.

"On your papers, it says 'self abuse'. Were you aware of this being the reason for your admission?"

"Yes, Doctor. I'm fully aware that that is why my father sent me here," I roll my eyes.

"And do you now know why you're sitting in this room?" He asks condescendingly.

"It must have been 'self abuse'," I answer sarcastically.

"You hit the nail right on the head, Miss Pendleton. Now, Henry and John are going to come back and take this jacket off of you. Then, they're going to take you to your hydrotherapy treatment."

"What's hydrotherapy?" I ask.

"It's quite a simple concept. You sit and soak in a bath. It's supposed to relax you and relieve tension," he pokes his head out of the room and calls the two men back.

They come in and hoist my to my feet by grabbing my arms. They quickly unbuckle the straps behind me and yank the jacket off. Doctor Ridgeway watches the entire process with an eerie smile on his face. They each grab an arm and escort me out of the room, down a hall, and into a secluded room filled with bathtubs. They direct me into the one in the farthest corner.

I undress uncomfortably in front of them and step in. The water is searing hot and takes a little while for my body to adjust to it. One of them rolls a canvas cover over the top and asks me to put my arms through the two holes in the top.

"Doctor's orders said you get the special tub with the arms restraints," the other one says as he clasps handcuffs around my wrists.

"Wait, what?" I try to pull my arms back through the holes, but it's no use.

"The whole purpose of this design is so you can't hurt yourself." The two men leave.

I'm the only one in the room and I feel unnaturally alone. This room is off of a hallway that is secluded from the main hallway, so there's a good chance no one would hear me if I needed them. Panic rises in my chest at this thought. I try to free my hands one more time, but it still doesn't work. What else is there to do but just relax and accept that there's nothing I can do?