A Storm in the Making

Chapter 34--Can I Kill My Bodyguard Now?

  Now in all this training and adjusting to a new life on a new planet, where was my bodyguard, William Helm, in all this?  I can tell you where.  Right up my butt.   Almost literally.

 I considered myself fortunate that I got to go to the latrine without him.  He considered it a concession on his part, to wait outside for me.  I had to threaten him with hell, death and damnation to keep him a hundred feet away from the latrine while I was in it. 

  Due to some quirk in the acoustics,—or maybe natural sounds were more socially acceptable back then—the latrine reverebated with the echo of every sound; like the inside of a well.  I was NOT freaking going to the bathroom with William Helm standing right outside the door. 

  He and I nearly came to blows over this issue, until the Hermits became involved due to our loud bickering.  Technically, my loud bickering.  William Helm was too dignified to actually yell at me.  I had no such qualms.

  “Absolutely NOT!” I screamed the second morning in a row that I came out of the latrine and found him standing right outside the door.

  William Helm glared down at me.  “I will guard you, you foolish child,” he told me frostily.   “Whether you will it, or not.  It is my duty.  Your childish tantrums will not change that!”

  I was near tears.  “Oh for Pete’s sake.  I am just going to the bathroom, you idiot,” I yelled, causing William Helm to bristle.  I forgot that words like idiot, which had lost its original meaning for modern Americans, still carried insulting inferences in some cultures.  “What do you think is going to attack me in there?”

  “I will not argue with a mere girl child,” he said haughtily.  “A stubborn one, I might add.  I will stand guard out here, despite your ranting.”   William Helm gritted out from between clenched teeth. “You need to get on with your business in there before you are late for Latin--again.”

  “No, you won’t guard anything out here. Not right here! You will go stand down there at the end of the hall.  Guard me from there, or not at all.” 

  “I refuse to move from this spot.”

  “Oh for God’s sake.  I release you from whatever vow of chastity or guardianship you have taken.  Just go.  Please.  I really ne…..”

  “What in the name of the Goddess of Azul is going on out here,” inquired Natos coming out into the hall from his room.  He was the only one of the Hermits who still lived on the upper floor. 

  Natos quickly realized the problem was one of personal space for me, and took my side.

“Sir William. A few steps down the hall should not diminish you’re protection of the child.”

Without a word, William Helm stomped down to the end of the hall, and took up his brooding stance.

  It was all I could do not to stick my tongue out at him when I won that round with William Helm, I am glad I didn’t, however. Most of the time, the Hermits interference did not go  in my favor, when it came to William Helm’s shadowy attendance in my daily life.

Sheesh! The guy never took a day off. Every day, he followed me from class to class, settling himself into a dark corner near where I was training, as silent as a spider, while I went through my lessons.

At meals, he cast his gloomy silence over the table like a sticky web that clung to us all until even the Hermits grew tired of it, and banished him to the kitchen to eat his meals with Britta, Marta, and Isaac. That was the second concession. 

  Day or night, I was never quite free of him.  Even his room was next to mine.  Some nights I could hear the disgustingly loud bellows and snorts of his snoring.  The man had a serious sinus problem.  His snores vibrated right through that ancient stone like they were paper thin walls in a cheap motel. 

  You would think I would have gotten used to him after a while.  Nope.  That wasn’t happening. William Helm’s presence was not something one got used to.