Chapter 23 - Practical Jokes Are(n't) Always Funny

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Sorry for the late update. Happy reading! Tell me what you think of this chappie below?


Translations for the French swearing (there is lots, apologies if anyone French is reading this because it's a little savage) : 

Tu êtes une pute  = You are a bitch.

Putain  = Fuck (it can also be used as an insult to someone, so kind of like bitch)

Va te faire enculer  = Go fuck yourself.

Connasse  = Cunt

Ferme ta gueule  = Shut the fuck up.


"Five more minutes of this and I will go ballistic on her." I mutter to Jean as I sit down next to him, pouring myself a cup of cool water. "I'm not doing this again."

"Get a move on, you whore!" Caitlyn shrieks from the living room. The library doors are locked, and no one is going in there. No way in hell I'm letting her go in there.

"I will kill her." I hiss through gritted teeth at Jean, getting up again. "I swear, if she doesn't fucking-"

"COME ON!" She screeches from the living room. My fists ball at my sides, but I know I need to see this through today. Otherwise, who knows what will happen?

I glance at her work on the table, then shake my head. "Nope, that's wrong."

"I didn't ask you for this so you could just shake your skanky head at me."

"How do you not want me to shake my head?!" I exclaim, lacing my hands together behind my back to avoid hitting her. "You've spelt hello wrong, for God's sake!"

She sits back, smirking a little. "I would like to remind you that Luke is on my side and not yours.

"It's with a u." I snarl through gritted teeth, remembering that she is right. I just wish this didn't have to be like this. I can't help but wish that we were friends and that Luke and co were on my side, too. As much as I hate Caitlyn, I can't hide how appealing it sounds.

"Is this right?" She asks, shoving the notebook towards me viciously.

"Sure." I say, rocking back on my heels and trying not to yawn from pure boredom. "Bonjour. Je m'appelle Caitlyn." It says on the paper. I learnt this stuff when I was three.

A wonderful idea abruptly springs to mind, and I almost gasp. I try and hide the smile creeping onto my face, and cough instead.

"I need to go and get a dictionary." I say stonily.

"Not so smart after all, huh, bitch?" She waves her hand dismissively and I run back through to the kitchen where Jean is waiting, still wary of Caitlyn after his previous encounter with her.

Let's just say that Caitlyn tried to kiss him.

"Jean, Jean." I gasp, hopping onto the counter. "I have an idea."

He nods, leaning closer, and I quickly outline my plan. He's chuckling when I finish. "I don't know if that's a good idea." He says finally in French. "It could turn out very wrong."

"Imagine the looks on their faces!" I exclaim, covering my mouth to smother the laughter that is escaping.

"HURRY UP, BITCH!" Caitlyn crows.

"Okay, do it, if you want." Jean says. "But make sure you tell her this-" He notes something down on a piece of paper and slips it over to me.

"I don't dare!" I exclaim, reading the extremely rude word on the paper.

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