Chapter Forty-Three

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I wake up.

There's this feeling of emptiness inside of me, and I force my eyes open, only to shut them abruptly again. I saw the bright light of morning reflecting through the glass balcony doors just before darkness greeted me again with open arms.

"Camilla? Cami sweetie, you need to eat something. You must feel terrible." Pam's voice floats through my ears and I feel the pillows behind me being propped up a bit and straightening my back more.

And that's when I feel it: the hangover. The horrible throb in my head blocking my mind from any rational thinking. I just want to hit my skull over and over again to make it stop. Then, I decide to slowly open my eyes again. Pam smiles at me and sets a tray of delicious-looking breakfast on top of the duvet separating it from my lap. However, the food makes my stomach churn, and seemingly noticing this, she delicately removes the tray and sets it onto the night table. The same night table where the orb is pulsing slowly, now clad in golden colours. I want to get as far away from it as possible. I try to sit up straighter but dizziness takes over me and forces me back down.

"You should try to relax dear." Pam says lightly, stroking the hair away from my forehead tenderly. Worry swims in the pools of her ageing eyes. "Do you remember what happened?"

My throat feels dry and parched, and my muscles are aching. I can't remember anything, and it feels as if someone has deleted everything off my brain's hard drive from last night. I want to translate my thoughts into words, but I can't speak, so I meekly shake my head.

"You don't remember anything at all?" She presses a bit more, and it looks like she wants me to remember whatever it is so that she doesn't have to tell me herself.

Well, I remember the party, and the fun that came with it, Asher's lips on mine, and then... nothing. Darkness swallowing the deepest thoughts of my mind. What, did I dance on a table too hard and split it into two pieces?

"Darling, you somehow found a knife and you - you..." She sighs and forces a reassuring smile, but her eyes look shocked. "You stabbed Asher my dear. No one knows why."

Silence.

Shock pours through me and I just stare blankly ahead. "What?" My voice finally comes out, but barely as a faint whisper. She seems relieved at my ability to speak however, and strokes my hair again.

Then, everything crashes down and it all comes back to me: the balcony, the glowing moon, the blackness, the blindness, the feeling of absolute loss of control over my own body, and then the dagger, its cold hilt, the blood pooling onto the floor. My mouth hangs agape.

"Don't worry, he's okay; his body healed itself during the transformation but well, his beast wasn't happy in the slightest." She laughs slightly, kind of sadly, and I admire her ability to do so in this moment. She slowly stands up onto her feet. "Well, I'll let you get ready. You should really eat something though, and come down when you feel like it, okay dear?"

I meekly nod and she smiles, crossing the room and shutting the door behind her. I let my head fall into the pillow, reminding myself that I'm lying in Asher's bed, in our bed.

I stabbed my own soulmate, and I have no idea how.

"Well that was fun wasn't it?"

I freeze all over as Killian's laugh echoes around my mind, and then leaves me completely. Then, realisation pours over me and I groan, rubbing my head. I need to take control, and fast.

The dickhead tried to kill Asher last night, using me.

How dare he...

I force myself upright and throw the covers away, noticing the lack of the dress and instead the feeling of the oversized shirt on my body. Asher's smell overpowers my senses and I close my eyes for a moment, taking in the coldness of the hardwood floor underneath my bare feet and the feeling of Asher's rich masculine scent on me. Then, I feel everything else that comes with a hangover from a party and quickly march over to the bathroom. I hold back a disgusted groan at the face in the mirror: unruly blonde hair, mascara smudges, creased eyeshadow, smeared lipstick and horribly tired eyes.

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