The New Boy [boyxboy]

Chapter Thirteen

We didn't go anywhere special, just a park on the other side of town where we knew we couldn't get caught by anybody who would get us in trouble for skipping. We spent the whole day just hanging out and talking, and when we got bored of that we went to the swings and stood by them until the kids playing on them got intimidated and ran off, and then I sat on one and Gary pushed me for a while and it was actually pretty nice. I'm not sure if it was romantic, necessarily, cos I wasn't overcome with any urges to kiss him or jump on him like I sometimes am when he's being particularly nice to me, but I did enjoy myself.

He dropped me off at home – Mom home – at four, when I would usually have gotten back from school, and kissed me on the cheek before I got out of the car.

Feeling significantly less shit about my life, I walked up the driveway and had barely closed the door behind me when there was a knock on it.

'I can't believe you bunked off without me,' Dexter complained, walking past me into the house and flopping dejectedly onto the couch. Nervously, I sat next to him. I hadn't spoken to him since our kiss and I wasn't sure how he felt about it. He'd acted fine all night but I couldn't get his confused look out of my head from right afterwards. 'School was so boring without you.'

He was really going to have to stop saying things like that if I was ever going to get over him; they sent my heart haywire with expectation and hope.

'Sorry,' I mumbled, not sure what to say since the words "Please kiss me again, I might die if you don't" were trying to tumble out between my lips.

'Andie's probably going to be over later with a hatchet,' he commented, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. 'She's been ringing you all day.' He started picking at a loose thread on his grey long-sleeved t-shirt. 'She thinks you were with Gary.'

'Oh,' I said. Monosyllables were the order of the day, then.

'Were you?'

'Um. Yeah.' I was distracted by his fidgeting. He never usually fidgets. Also, it's depressing that I know that about him. 'We had some stuff to talk about.'

'Oh. Are you guys... Back together?'

I shrugged. 'No. I don't think so.'

'He didn't just tell you to get back together with him then?'

I glanced at him, surprised.

'Sorry,' he said, shaking his head and sitting up straighter. 'That was out of line.'

'No, it's okay.' He could have called my mother a prostitute and I probably wouldn't have minded. 'He didn't. He actually apologised for being so controlling. He didn't realise he was doing it, apparently. He's going to try to change.'

'Oh. Well. That's good.'

'Yeah. But I haven't forgotten what you said, in French. About being scared to not be with him. And Andie says I'm some sort of commitment-aholic or something, so I've got my second opinion,' I joked. 'I'm not gonna get back with him just because he knows he's been a douche. He kind of needs to prove that he's going to change before I trust him again.'

Dex smiled broadly. 'Good,' he said definitively. The he paused, as if something had occurred to him. 'Does that mean you think you'll definitely get back with him though?'

I bit my lip. Like Gary realising he was controlling and him actually doing something about it were completely different, my realising that I'm scared to be alone and changing that were different too. I was still scared to be alone. 'I don't know,' I said honestly. 'Two years is a lot to throw away. I know I'm not going back to what we had before, but...' I shrugged. In my experience straight guys aren't too great with dealing with gay guys' emotions and fears. Andie is much better with that stuff.