Hell's Rayne (Book 1)

Chapter 17

“Listen, I really should be going,” I finally said to break the awkward silence that had descended over the conversation between Jesse and myself for much too long.

The evening had taken an unfortunate turn. Judging by Jesse's mood, I wasn't going to get any more information out of him that night, not when I considered where my particular line of questioning needed to head. Oh he could switch his mood up and be amiable, even bright and cheery, as long as I didn't continue to press the subject of his family, which essentially meant I would be wasting my time. Plus, for some inexplicable reason, I really needed to get out of that house.

“No, wait. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put a downer on things.” Jesse moved around the centre island counter that divided the kitchen and took one of my hands tentatively in his own; frowning, as if he were unsure of the gesture.

“It's fine, honestly. I shouldn't have been digging when you're obviously not ready to talk about...whatever it is that's bothering you.” I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my lips as I verbalised my disappointment. “But I really should go. It's starting to get late and I have no doubt that Frances will have me working a double shift tomorrow to make up for taking tonight off at such short notice.”

“But we haven't had dessert yet.”Was Jesse's last ditch effort to encourage me to stay, though his tone lacked any real enthusiasm.

“Another time?” I said as I headed to grab my coat and bag from where I had hung them beside the front door. Jesse followed me, our footsteps echoing each other on the hardwood floor.

Ready to leave, I stood on tiptoe and placed a quick kiss onto Jesse's stubbly cheek. It was an impulse gesture, and I'm not sure where the impulse had come from, but it felt appropriate at the time and it drew a small smile back onto Jesse's face.

“Dinner was great. Thank you,” I said, softly, as I stood in front of the door. “And, seriously, don't forget what I said. Think about gelling someone what's got you in such a mess. Keeping it all bottled up will only eat away at your insides. Just, y'know, think about it, okay?”

I smiled as he nodded, visibly considering my words. He opened his mouth, and for one brief moment I allowed myself to be hopeful that he was going to accept my idea, that he was about to tell me to stay so that he could talk about things. But the words he did speak crushed all of this hope into a pulpy mush that caught in my throat.

“Do you want me to walk you back to the pub?”

The wave of disappointment was all encompassing as it washed over me. I breathed in a deep sigh, feeling the chill of the night air fill my lungs as I shook my head.

“Goodnight,” I muttered quietly, the words threatening to get caught in choking constriction I felt in my throat. It was the cold night air, I swear it was, that brought the sting of tear to my eyes. I sniffed them back and, with a sad smile, turned away and hurriedly crunched my way down the gravel path before he could say anything more. Dammit, I would not cry!

The whole situation was stupid, and nothing was working the way it was supposed to. Frustration burned my lungs, my body willing me to cry the strange cocktail of emotions out into the night air, to take the same advice I had given to my mark and release them before they ate away at me. But I couldn't, I stuffed them back down all the harder. I wasn't going to get what I needed from Jesse, not without taking some more drastic measures, and I was even less sure if I really wanted to hear what he had to tell me any more. There was something about him, he wasn't like any of the others had been, and he didn't deserve what he had coming to him – when did I start caring to much?