Chapter 2: Mark

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What's most strange about being stuck in a field for eternity with only half of your best friends, is this: Even with all of the memories you have together, eventually you run out of things to talk about. I think that no matter who you're with, if you do the same thing in the same place everyday, socializing just stops being a priority. Really, you end up having no priorities. Everything is pretty quiet where we are. I spend most of my time laying down, watching the clouds pass by while I pretend Kendall is next to me.

I'm pretty sure that's what Chase has been doing, too. He's been talking to himself recently, walking around the field, far away from us. I've heard him whisper her name in his sleep, constantly thinking of Nina. I know how he feels, it's hard to accept the fact that you're never going to see the one you love again.

I'm constantly worried Kendall is going to find someone new while I'm gone. But then a little part of me knows its better for her if she does, she deserves to be happy.

I wonder if they have forgotten about us, maybe they aren't even looking. For all I know, they are at the winter dance right now. Dancing, laughing, and having a good time while we are here, floating in nothingness.

The field is surrounded by woods. We hadn't even thought to look inside the woods for something, anything to help us get out. Maybe there are others stuck here, too. Maybe we aren't as alone as we feel. Now that it's starting to snow and the field just isn't cutting it, we finally agreed to go looking in the trees. Maybe build a shelter, but who knows...

Arizona is in denial. She is always laughing and staring at the grass on the ground. She's been collecting snowflakes on her sleeve, seeing how many she can keep from touching the ground. Every once in a while she will say something like, "I bet Alaska is enjoying this weather,"or, "I wonder what Alaska is doing right now. Probably arguing with mom," and then she starts laughing again as if it doesn't hurt. I'm worried about her. I'm worried about everyone, I just don't know how to help.

The ones who give me the biggest headache are Ivy and Hazel. They sit, playing rock-paper-scissors and singing their favorite songs by some boy band I've never even heard of. I guess it's their way of getting through things, so I don't say anything. I do my best to not say anything too harsh to anyone, we've all had it rough these past few months.

One of the hardest struggles we have is finding food. We haven't had a good meal since we were back home, now we are mostly just eating apples off of a tree nearby. The only problem is, its not growing apples fast enough. We limit ourselves to one a day. It's hard to keep on weight here. My ribs are slowly revealing more of themselves as time passes. I haven't seen anything alive to hunt, I'm pretty sure its just us out here. To keep our strength up, we run about a mile around the field everyday, and the guys and I have workout sessions. We are doing our best.

Yvoni goes into the woods every once in a while, but not too far. The first few days we were here, she wandered through a few trees and found a little stream. She comes back everyday with more water to drink. She spends a lot of time out there, carving little shapes in the trees with other sticks and stones she finds. I never feel like walking out there to check them out, but I'm sure that they will probably symbolize things from our past lives back home. I don't want to be reminded of how good we had it. She barely says anything. She is usually twiddling with her fingers or her hair and staring off at nothing in particular. I'm not sure what she's thinking about but I don't want to know. Especially when she starts to cry at random moments. They are little and quiet, they only last a few seconds. Then, she wipes away her tears and stiffens her posture, continuing on staring at nothing. No one ever asks what's wrong, because we all know.

Lazaro goes around the edge of the clearing, picking up good sticks for firewood. He is about the only one who actually knows how to start a fire, so he's in charge of that every night before we go to bed. He doesn't talk anymore, not since we got here. I've already forgotten what his voice sounds like. Even if I didn't forget, its probably different by now.

Cole keeps trying to find signal on his phone. He thinks that somehow, he will be able to get in contact with our friends on the other side. He's tried calling all of them, either losing connection or being sent to voicemail. Either way, it's hopeless. The worst part is, every time he plays their voicemail, I get a shot of pain in my chest just from hearing their voice. I miss them, I miss all of us together. Even being with most of them, it's different. They aren't the same here. Everyone is too quiet, and I'm sure we are all thinking of the same things. We just have different ways of dealing with it.

I'm sick of this. I'm sick of feeling helpless, I want to do something. So that's why I've finally  convinced everyone to go into the woods further, not just to build shelter, to actually look for a way out of this hell. I have hope. I'm not giving up.

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