Frustration -SERIES- [Part 2] Headphones & Reveries [boyxboy]

Chapter Nineteen

I took my time in the changing room and when I finally got back to the suite the band had left again, the detritus of their lunch remaining in the kitchen. Chloe had left to go to her never-ending meetings and Rachel was sitting alone in the living room with her laptop.

She looked up when I walked in and smiled. 'Hey,' she said, patting the space beside her on the couch. 'I heard you had an intense work out.'

'How?' I asked.

'Conor was muttering about it to Sally. Said you ran for two hours straight.'

'Yeah.'

'You're gonna be in so much pain tomorrow,' she grinned. 'Was it cathartic?'

I shrugged. 'Dunno. I think so. Felt good while I was doing it.'

'That's great,' she said, squeezing my leg.

'Where's Josh? How was shopping?'

'Shopping is always good,' she joked, then rolled her eyes. 'We were having a perfectly pleasant morning but then Josh got in a strop so we came back here. He's gone off in a bad mood now, I'm not sure where he is.'

I started to stand up. 'What's wrong with him? I'll go find him.'

'No,' Rachel reached up and pulled me back down. 'I don't think that's a good idea.'

She didn't say anything else so I narrowed my eyes at her and demanded, 'What's wrong with him?'

She sighed. 'While we were out he asked if I knew what was up with you. And I didn't want to lie so I said I did, some of it anyway. He wanted to know what it was and I said I couldn't tell him and he got pretty annoyed with me. He started insisting and I told him it wasn't going to happen. So the mood was ruined and we came back here, and then he overheard Conor and Sally talking about you going hard at the gym and he stormed out.'

'Shit,' I muttered, and dropped my head into my hands. 'Shit, shit, shit.'

Rachel put her hand on my back and moved it gently up and down.

'I'm sorry, Rach,' I said desperately. 'You shouldn't have to cover for me like that, I'm sorry you guys had a fight.'

Rachel rolled her eyes again. 'Don't worry about that. Josh's frustration isn't your responsibility, and our relationship isn't your responsibility either. I'll talk to him later, he'll understand that I can't break a confidence; he would never tell me something you'd asked him not to, so he'll come around once I explain it to him calmly. Your only responsibility is dealing with the horrible mess in your head.'

I wasn't sure I believed her about Josh not being my responsibility but it felt like a relief to let go of the burden so I dropped it.

'How...' she paused and a spectrum of emotions passed over her face in a second before she started again, 'How are you dealing with it?'

I took a moment to think about that and then shrugged. 'Not well,' I muttered.

She nodded understandingly. 'I'm not asking, because you told me not to, so I'm respecting that, but I just wanted to let you know that if you want to talk about what happened, I'm listening, always,' she said flatly.

I nodded and sighed and leaned back on the couch, tipping my head back to look up at the ceiling. Chloe had said over and over again how I needed to talk about it and it wasn't like Rachel didn't already know the general gist of what had happened. And she could empathise.

'There was somebody at the party...' I started. 'Somebody important. And I went somewhere with him. And he...' I trailed off and gestured at my mouth because I couldn't say it, and Rachel bit her lip and nodded, understanding.