You texted me first

Derek ---> Peter

Derek:
I hate you

Peter:
Well the feelings are mutual my dear nephew

Derek:
I'm seriously considering to kill you again

Peter:
Wasn't my fault that you didn't lock your bedroom door

Derek:
You could have knocked?!?

Peter:
Oh but that's no fun

Derek:
What were you even doing here yesterday? It's MY house

Peter:
I just wanted to see how you and your lovely mate were doing and I guess pretty great huh? I knew that Stilinski was hot but damn Derek

Derek:
PETER HALE

Peter:
Oh come on Derek, you can't keep that beautiful boy all to yourself. We're family remember? And family share things with each other

Derek:
You're a freak Peter

Peter:
You love me

Derek:
If I loved you, would I kill you in the first place?

Peter:
Well actually it was a thrill to be dead you know and by the way, the devil says hi

Derek:
😒

Peter:
Anyway, I need your help

Derek:
With what?

Peter:
I may have upsetting some hunters back in Arizona and now they're coming to Beacon Hills

Derek:
What the fuck did you do?

Peter:
I swear I didn't do anything bad. It's not my fault that their leader couldn't survive getting his throat ripped

Derek:
HOW IS RIPPING SOMEONES THROAT NOT BAD?

Peter:
Cause that bitch deserved it

Derek:
Why?

Peter:
He told me that V-necks are totally 2002

Derek:
Are you fucking with me?

Peter:
No, that would be incest 

Derek:
How fucking stupid are you? I'm not going to let my pack get attacked by hunters just because someone insulted your ugly taste for fashion!

Peter:
HEY MY TASTE FOR FASHION IS NOT FREAKING UGLY

Derek:
I'm going to kill you, AGAIN and this time, stay fucking dead

Peter:
Charming Derek. But you will help me

Derek:
And why the hell would I do that when I could leave you for dead and let the hunters take you?

Peter:
Cause if you don't help me, I'm going to make you regret it by harming the only thing that means something to you

Derek:
YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM STILES, DO YOU HEAR ME?

Peter:
Trust me, I really don't want to harm your hot boyfriend in any way, but if you don't do what I say, I can't help letting the monster inside me out

Derek:
I'm the alpha Peter! I don't take orders from you!

Peter:
Oh but you will

Derek:
I swear to god, if you hurt Stiles, I'm going to find you, and I will kill you. I will set your dead body on fire and watch how it burns to ashes

Peter:
So you will help me?

Derek:
God fucking kill me, yes I will help you

Peter:
Always so nice to make deals with you my dear nephew

Derek:
I still hate you more than anything

Peter:
Stay in line darling 😘

Derek:
Fuck you