◈ Magnus X Alec One Shots ◈ Malec ◈

The Loss Of A Brother

Dedicated to andrya_welch for the recommendation!

Alec was no longer himself, Magnus knew that. They were still in Idris, they were still in the same place as his dead brother. The body had been moved, that was good news at least. But, Alec hadn't taken it well. Alec had rampaged, he had shouted, he had cried. His strong facade broke down yet it only happened in Magnus' presence. Magnus was the single soul he showed his emotions too- the only one he trusted.

The rest believed he was just fine. Alec still scowled, he never smiled anyway. Alec still fought and even Jace, despite the parabatai rune, didn't notice Alec's sadness. He only assumed it was his. Max was dead and they were all in mourning, they had only begun to concentrate on themselves. It wasn't a bad thing, it was the natural thing. You didn't want to hear of others sorrows when you had your own. You wanted to recover before you could hear the others stories.

But, Alec hadn't been recovering. He was coping, he was getting through the day but every night, as he returned to Magnus, he had broken down- crying out for his lost brother. The funeral had passed and Alec was expected, now, to return to the war. He had a service to do and he would fulfil it. But, that didn't mean he wasn't broken.

Alec cried and continued to cry for days. Magnus was there for him each and every second but never did he heal. Alec's brother was gone and there was nothing that he could do to change that. So, Magnus simply rubbed Alec's back and wiped away his tears until they were all dried up.

'I love you.' He whispered each and every night, causing a smile that he rarely saw. Alec never smiled unless Magnus said those words. So, Magnus said those words every chance he got.

Then, a week later, the crying stopped and the need for those words along with them. The tears dried up and an emptiness ensued. No matter how much Magnus spoke, Alec never had any reaction. 'I love you' would bring no smile. 'Please' would bring no speech. Crying would reap no reaction. Everything was falling apart, including Alec, including Magnus.

Alec didn't know what he was doing. He was too wrapped up in himself to notice. He had good reason to be. His brother was dead, after all. It really was as simple as that. His brother was dead and he wouldn't come back.

His brother died for nothing.

That was the worst of all. Max had died because Sebastian had come and brutally murdered him because Alec had left him and Isabelle alone. He should have been there to protect them. Yet, he wasn't. He was with Magnus: smiling, laughing, loving. Now, he regretted it all and he put that regret upon Magnus.

Alec no longer blamed himself, he blamed the two of them. 'Alec, don't place the blame on anyone but Sebastian.' Magnus would murmur, burying his head in the crook of Alec's neck. Nothing came of his pleas. They were answered with thinned lips or narrowed eyes. Alec couldn't just move on from this.

The next day, Magnus gave up. Magnus left Idris and gave Isabelle the job to comfort Alec. But, that only ended worse than before. Isabelle was even more to blame than the two of them. She was there. Why had she failed to protect Max? What was worse than Alec's blame was Isabelle's. Isabelle blamed herself more than the rest. She was there after all. So, Magnus had left her the impossible job of taking the blame more than she already had. Magnus had been selfish and given up the burden.

The day that Alec came back to Idris was the day that Magnus was happy again. Alec came to his apartment, a sad smile on his face. 'I'm so sorry.' He whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek- followed by no more. They knew that it couldn't solve everything but those words sent them both flying into each other's arms. 'I'm so sorry.' Alec repeated, then again and again.

Magnus listened. Listened to everything. Alec sat him down and explained it all. He explained his problems, who he blamed, that he never stopped loving him. They never knew their first argument would be so severe but that was all part of the relationship. It made it seem real, not just a fantasy. So, somehow, they were both glad.

Of course, Alec was still in mourning. Each and every day he prayed for Max despite holding no religion. Magnus joined him some days. They went through the rest of the rollercoaster together. Because, for them, there was no other way.

'Magnus, I need to go back to the Institute!' Alec called out, a gentle smile on his face. Magnus smirked.

'And you expect me not to come with you? You think wrong, Alexander.' Magnus laughed, shrugging on his coat.

'Magnus! My parents are going to be there. After what happened in Idris, they aren't too happy.' It was clear that Alec was referencing their kiss they shared in front of the entire body of the Clave. Neither were embarrassed about it actually, they were both quite glad for it but it was clear that Alec's parents were extremely embarrassed about it.

Magnus didn't care, though. His parents would have to accept it sooner or later. Alec was their son after all. 'Let's go.' Alec smiled, grasping at Magnus' hand. They then left the apartment and headed to the Institute, hand in hand, smiles gracing their faces.

'Are you alright now?' Magnus asked curiously. Alec simply smiled and locked eyes with his lover.

'I'm doing as well as I can be. You're with me now, that's all I could ever ask for.' Magnus smiled brightly, Alec mimicking the action.

'How are the rest of your family doing then. I mean, they don't all have me.' Magnus joked, hoping that it would bring a smile rather than a frown to Alec's face. Alec was still fragile and Magnus would only blame himself if Alec was to break.

'I think they are doing just fine. We all have each other. None of us are alone.' They both continued to smile, not finding a reason to let it fall. They reached the Institute soon after and despite Alec's parents' glares, all was great. They all talked, joked, laughed because that would be what Max would want them to do.

They had to keep living for the dead to be happy- no matter how hard that was.

word count: 1093

published: 02.04.17