Five times

2

The NICU was always eerily quiet, especially the private rooms that held the babies extremely at risk. Nobody made a sound, the only noise throughout the place was the constant beeping of monitors and the occasional code blue alert. But otherwise, it was quiet, and I liked to go there to think.

I was holding a small baby, about four pounds but growing steadily, because her Mom was in a coma from the accident that lead to her early delivery and her Dad refused to so much as look at his daughter; he blamed the baby for the accident because his wife was driving to pick out a crib when she was hit by another car. A wrong place, wrong time situation, but the Dad still refused to look at the baby until the Mom woke up.

It broke my heart; a baby this tiny had never been held by her parents, so I held her whenever I could, it helped me think. Holding babies was my happy place, and even though I know I'm not the same as the baby's Mom, I liked to think she liked being held too.

I was sitting in a private room, one that held just her, rocking her slowly while running my finger down her little cheek, watching as she slept contently in my arms. I could've lived in that moment forever.

The door opened quietly, and I looked over to see Meredith walking in with a clipboard. She looked somber; and I immediately knew what had just happened.

"How long?" I ask quietly, still looking down at the baby.

"An hour ago, I was looking for you to tell you. Her Mother is dead, her Father signed away his rights and left the hospital after crying over her. I paged you but..." she trails off.

"I turned the sound down so as to not wake the baby, I must've not heard it" I sigh, thinking of this poor little baby who was now out a set of parents. She didn't deserve this.

"We have to call CPS. They'll get her information and start finding families to place her with once she's released" Meredith came over to stand behind me, looking down at the baby from over my shoulder. She was leaning slightly, so her hair lightly brushed my shoulder.

"Not yet" I quietly tell her "she needs to be held, her own parents haven't held her. She needs to know somebody cares" I'm whispering now, still looking down at the sleeping little baby girl, who doesn't know just how awful her life was about to become.

"Does she have a name?" Meredith asks, reaching to hold her little hand. Surprisingly, the baby stays asleep but grips her pointer finger between two of her little hands. I could feel Meredith smiling behind me, and I was smiling too.

"No, she doesn't. Her Dad didn't want to name her, he said that his wife hadn't picked a name yet"

"Well, you should name her. She needs a name for her files"

I nod, thinking back to all the nameless babies I'd given names to throughout my career. There was a total of six, four boys and two girls. I'd given them all names I thought sounded strong, because they'd all need strength to live out their lives. Liam, Carter, Mason, Theo, Phoebe and Zoe. I remember clear as day writing each name neatly onto a birth certificate just after hearing that they'd been abandoned by their parents and would be sent to CPS. I remember holding each and every one, rocking them gently, until the social worker came and picked them up. It broke my heart, but babies that young are usually adopted quickly, and I took solace in knowing they'd all have families to love them.

Now, I'd have nameless baby number seven to add to my list of heart breaks.

It was a clam, serene environment despite how chaotic the baby's life would now be. The serenity that surrounded Meredith, the baby, and I almost felt comforting, despite the circumstances.

"Serenity" I decide, thinking that the baby's name should reflect the environment she spent the first few days of her life in "her name is Serenity" I turned to face Meredith, who was already looking at me. We were closer than we'd ever been, I could feel every intake and exhale of her breath against my cheek.

"Serenity is perfect" Meredith said, when she finally spoke "absolutely perfect"

A/N- a little short, but it's cute I think. I love the name Serenity, I think it's a little hippy sounding but either way it's gorgeous and it fits the baby perfectly.

Thanks for reading, vote and comment!! Second chapter will be up tomorrow!!

~Daisy