Love is a four letter word, that's what they say, yeah?
It's overused and cliché, but right now I just don't fucking care.
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You showed me how to love, but you also showed me how to cry,
- I'm not one to easily tear up, but congratulations, you officially stopped them from being shy,
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Loving isn't easy, but you know what's harder? Hating.
Looking at the person you used to breathe for, and now trying to resent every breath they take, it's frustrating.
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You taught me how to feel, how to cherish, how to kiss and how to survive this sobriety hell,
But funnily enough you also taught me how to be numb, to be haunted, how to be nothing but an empty shell.
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You prey on the fact that you know you're not mine, but I'm still yours, an act I'm getting tired of.
You antagonize me, string me along so I can't escape your fucking love.
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It's hard not to grow addicted though, if others knew you like I do, trust me they'd feel the same,
If they knew how potent a drug your love is, how sweet and heady, they'd be asking me for your digits and your name.
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And yet your drug only works on me, or am I just that weak an addict?
I strive to be sober, but I also want you - two cravings that truly contradict.
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Because you taught me how to love, and I'm desperate for another lesson,
To pretend your lips are mine again, to whisper to your sleeping ear, the one I used to confess in,
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Of how much I loved you, how much you meant to me, how if only you knew;
- That I lived for you, but bittersweetly, also, gladly would die for you, too,
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Now you're the one killing me - draining my heart until your lessons I've almost forgotten,
And I'm left dry on this earth, a bitter memory of who I used to be; once ripe, now rotten.
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So you see hating you is needed, especially when you're a dedicated dealer, always wanting to give me a fix, no matter how many times I tell you no,
But like the addict I am, I fall in, I taste your drug, get my hit, then brokenly go.
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Funny thing is, I can't bring myself to blame you, we all know who the addict is here,
The proof is in this poem, the wetness on the page I'll deny to anyone who asks; is it a tear?
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I love you; you love me. I hate you; you give me what I crave, but not what I need. It's a cruel fate.
- Love is a four letter word, but darling, my angel, so is hate.
