Star Wars: The Diary of Anakin Skywalker

Chapter Two

He was asleep, but never fully a Jedi can never truly slip in to the unconsciousness of sleep; for that well that is when he is most vulnerable, Instead a Jedi trains his mind with the force uses it as a state of meditation and reflection keeping his wits about him while still managing to recharge his own batteries. While in his meditative state this is where Anakin allowed himself to reach out with the force and get a read on every single person on board the transport, its where he allowed himself to think strategy and more importantly its where he allowed himself to truly prepare his own mind for this mission. As he laid there in his meditative state once again he found his mind wandering back to the other younglings and Padawan in the Jedi Temple, he wondered if any of his friends like Jax Pavan had been doing as well in thier training as he was, he wondered if he'd ever get a chance to work with them too. More importantly Anakin now found himself thinking about his mother, the last time he saw her she was a slave on Tatooine he missed her very much, a great wave of sadness washed over him overwhelming his very being both the conscious and unconscious he was truly and deeply sad, for the longest time it had just been Anakin and his mother Shmi the day he left her to start his training was the hardest day he has ever had, the feelings of loneliness and betrayal raise their ugly heads when Anakin least expects it and they always take a toll on him, each time they break into his head. I shouldn't of left her Anakin thought to himself I shouldn't of left my mother I'm all she has, how could I have been so selfish how could i have left why did I leave? these are the thoughts that constantly plague Anakin's mind when he let's his guard down enough to think about his home planet and his mother... Obi Wan could sense and visibly see how distraught his young freind was becoming he was tossing and turning in his sleep, he wished there was more he could do for Anakin he was growing quite fond of him and wanted nothing but the best for him, in all aspects of his life; not just his choice to become a Jedi. It deeply troubled not just Obi Wan but the entire Jedi Council how easily Anakin could let his mind wander to the negative and how he would let himself dwell on it, but he was young and learning. Fear however leads to anger which leads to aggression and that almost certainly will lead you down the path to the dark side of the force. That is a path that no one wants to go down and one that Obi Wan would not let Anakin start down, not while he was living and breathing. Anakin stirred again in his sleep this time more violently, Obi Wan fearing for his friend reached out and shook him until he woke up. 

Sweat glistening on Anakin's forehead and his body violently shaking from his disturbed thoughts he came to and noticed his mentor and friend staring at him intently, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself and regain his composure leaning forward he did not speak instead he placed his hands in his face rubbed his temples and tried with all his might to slip back into peaceful meditation. It was no use he was too shaken by the darkness of his own thoughts by the images that had been projected into his mind, Anakin knew he should say something to Obi Wan about this, but he didn't want to worry or even upset his mentor he didn't want to get sent back to the temple, instead he decided for now he would not speak of it; when the time was right he would say something there was no use in alarming Obi Wan if the occurrence did not happen again. Anakin vowed from that moment on he would never let it happen again.