These last few days have been not only emotionally taxing but physically as well, I am greatful for every opportunity I have been given, but sometimes I grow weary; Am I good enough? Do Masters Yoda and Windu trust me, sometimes I feel as though they do not, I can sense it, but then again Maybe I am only imagining it. Obi Wan seems very fond of me, and I am fond of him, He's the closest thing I have ever had to a father and his opinion of me is truly what matters the most to me. I grow weary of worrying what everyone else thinks of me, and it is probably for the best that I don't let anything bother me, I am still learning and I know I have a long ways to go. Every moment if I let my self dwell on it flashes back to the dream I had on the transport here to Delaya; I can't put my finger on it, none of it made any sense. Perhaps this was the doing of the force, or perhaps I am even loosing my mind, maybe in time all the images and sounds will start to untangle themselves in my brain and it will all fall into place and make sense. Our mission is stranger then most that we've been on, but with the Republic falling apart it is understandable that anything involving more star systems possibly leaving the Republic would place not only the senate and the Chancellor on edge but the Council as well.
On a different more happy note, I had a dream involving Padme the other night, gosh she's beautiful, I remember when I first met her in Watto's parts shop on Tatooine. "Are you an Angel." that's the first thing I ever asked her, and it certainly was a true statement she is an angel. Beautiful, Wise, Brave, Cunning...and maybe a little stubborn but that's okay. oh and her smile, it has the ability to make everyone who's near her forget why they were upset to begin with, the time I spent with her before I started my training was simply the most life changing experience. I haven't stopped thinking about her in six years, I wonder if I'll ever see her again. My heart tells me that one day we will and if that is the case then I am glad because life without her doesn't seem to have much meaning. I mean i know I am training to become a jedi and for that yes there is meaning in my life, but she was a good friend to have and good friends are very hard to come by in life. Tatooine also brings up sad memories too though, I do miss my mother and I feel badly that I was freed and she was not. I promised to come back and free her, yet I haven't yet. My mother is such a beautiul and strong woman I do hope she has been okay and not harmed, sometimes I reach out with the force and try to feel her presence just so I know that she is okay; I know i'm not supposed to have any attachments as a Jedi, but sometimes I really feel that it is an unfair thing to ask a person who had the fortune of growing up most of thier life not even knowing that there was such a thing as the force or that Jedi Knights were real and not just a myth or fairy tale. It just isn't fair! calm yourself Anakin settle Obi Wan would not like where your thoughts are leading you.
Delaya is an interesting Planet I know it is part of the Alderaan system, I think one or two of the senators i've met are from Alderaan. I get an awkward feeling though from being here, Like it is too calm and then there was that Copper haired girl that I saw following Obi Wan and I at the space port. Uniquely beautiful yet conflicted I can't get a read on her, or not an accurate sense of what her intentions truly are. I know she doesn't really wish to be doing what she's been told; that much I can sense on her, but what was this great task she's been given, and by whom? Who is she meant to harm and why? Will I see her again or is she merely another pawn in the game and was her presence supposed to be detected? These questions I'm sure will be answered in due time, I just feel as though time may not be in abundance as the Council originally thought, Just from walking around this afternoon I can see that the ordinary is too forced and there is something building, brewing in this planets capital city. I think that it has everything to do with the Seperatists, maybe even Nute Gunray is involved again like he was six years ago on Naboo. I shall continue this meditation later someone is coming and I think I may have a good feeling about who it is.
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Star Wars: The Diary of Anakin Skywalker
FanfictionIt's six years after Anakin has been told he will train to become a Jedi, Six years since he's seen Padme and six years since the death of Qui-Gon Jin and the realization of the Jedi Council that the Sith have emerged once again, now it is up to Obi...
