Submit (Book 1, The Karyln Trials)

Chapter Ten

     "Ada," I turn around, my skirt swaying in the subtle wind. "You're humming again." My cheeks heat as I look at Millie, she's caught me humming more times than not since the recital meeting last week.

"Sorry," I look back out at the field of kids running around outside the sector center. "August said he'd teach me how to play guitar today."

I smile, one of the songs he promised coming to mind. "You, playing an instrument?" Millie laughs and a small girl looks over at us wondering why we would have fun without her.

I swat at her arm and give her my best glower. "Yes, I know, it's not exactly easy to see for either you or I. August won't listen, he says since I got to teach him a few things during the meeting that it's only fair that he gets to teach me."

I meet her eyes and she gives me a confused look. My expression shatters and I look away, my face heating. Nobody ever figured out that when the Tabakova was being played, I was the one leading. Only August and I had known, and now I might have given that knowledge to another.

"What are you—"

"Never mind that, I need to go meet him soon. You coming?" I start to walk away and turn back to look at her before turning the corner.

Millie looks taken aback by my sudden urge to run but follows all the same. "Ada, stop." She grabs my arm after a block of silence and turns me to face her.

My eyes bounce around her face, refusing to meet her gaze until she snaps in front of my face. "Ada!" I finally look into her eyes and her gaze softens, surely seeing the terror in mine. "What aren't you telling me? You've always told me everything."

I look up and down the road, seeing a few people walk by, but it's still a few too many. I grab Millie's hand and pull her into an alley between two buildings. "Ada?"

I force out a frustrated breath and shut my eyes, counting to three before meeting Millie's gaze again. "What I'm about to tell you cannot be repeated, ever. This is literally life and death, love and loss." I search through her gaze and her eyes become as scared as mine are.

"I promise."

"It's Lincoln, he semi-expressed his feelings for me." Shock registers on her face and she goes to take a step back, her foot hitting the wall behind her.

"He told me that he couldn't stand seeing me with August, he couldn't stand me being happy. He basically told me how he felt, just not straight out." My voice is just above a whisper and I begin to shake, terror gripping me like a vise.

"Oh, stars." I'd usually at least give her a look for swearing but under the circumstances, I welcome the shared emotion. "In another life, I'd be very happy for you."

I roll my eyes and hold my temple as a headache begins to form. "Millie, you don't understand completely. Lincoln told me that he and Eve would choose August and I as their pair." Millie sucks in a breath and has to brace herself against the wall.

"Exactly. I mean, I tried to talk him out of it. I tried to tell him that he can never admit those feelings again, that we would both die if he did." I laugh at the irony of my words considering they are what I've told myself since I was sixteen. "I mean, I even told him to be happy with Eve and to be glad I'll be happy with August."

I begin to pace, surely wearing footprints into the sandals that Millie had gotten me for my birthday. "He wouldn't listen, Mill. I left him during the middle of the dance and he was still set on doing what's never been done before in history. He's signing away his only real chance of survival during The Trial to be paired with August and I."