Doctor Who: The Evangelion Error (Book One)

E5 Part 5: What challenges will my child be expected to master?

The next few minutes happened on fast forward for Shinji. When the world resumed normal play, he found himself huddled -- sopping wet, heart pounding, legs aching -- on the floor of the corridor. The rest of the class crowded around him, leaning against the walls or lying on the ground, exhausted. The fire doors between them and the stairwell had been shut and -- for good measure -- backed with a pile of desks that reached up nearly to the ceiling.

Also, the Doctor seemed to be yelling at Misato.

"A hand grenade? In a school?!"

"Don't be such a baby," Misato said irritably. "It was just a flashbang."

"Just a --! You coulda killed us all!"

She grumbled something under her breath.

The Doctor rubbed his temples. "Strewth, you military types are always hard work... Listen, you even saw it for yourself. Those people downstairs are saturated with hydrogen! Anything -- any sort of heat or shock -- could set them off!"

"Saturated with... Wait. You KNEW they explode?!"

"Well, I --"

Misato's eye started to twitch.

"-- I -- look, all right, maybe I forgot to bring it up."

Misato ground her teeth together. "You. Forgot."

"I had a lot on my mind down there! I can't think of everything!" The Doctor crossed his arms. "Besides, I didn't think you'd just start shooting people!"

"I had a gun! What else was I gonna do?! Hug them?!"

"Oi! Don't knock it until you've tried it!"

"God, would they just shut up and get a room already," Toji grumbled. He looked upset.

"Seriously," Hikari murmured. She typed rapidly into her cell phone, her eyes flickering over the screen.

Misato growled and turned away. "Just -- go buzz the doors again or something!" She stomped off down the hall.

The Doctor made a face at her back, then shook his head. "Right. Pardon me, then --" He waded into the pile of exhausted students and pointed his screwdriver at the wall above Shinji's head.

"What're you doing?" Shinji wheezed. His throat felt scratchy.

The Doctor glanced down at him. "Reversing the electromagnets on the fire doors. Should give them a bit more oomph if someone tries knocking them down."

Shinji nodded. That made sense, he supposed. "Back downstairs," he said. "When you - you put your hand over that one thing's mask, and it fell down."

"Oh, right." The Doctor grinned.

"How'd you do that? Did you - like - pinch its nerves, or something?"

"Nah. Well, kinda." The Doctor held up his left hand. Shinji could see a thick green paste spread across his palm. "Wasabi from that lunch pack. Shoved a bit of it up his nose. Don't think he'll be smelling too much for a while..."

Kensuke started to laugh. It turned into a coughing fit about halfway through. "You - you made an anti-zombie weapon out of wasabi? That's -- that's awesome."

"Yeaaahhhh, about that." The Doctor tugged his ear. "Didn't want to say anything until we were out of trouble -- but you really shouldn't call them zombies."

"What?" Kensuke tilted his head to the side, perplexed. "Why?"

"Because they're not dead." The Doctor lowered the screwdriver. "Oh, they've been reprogrammed on the neural and genetic level - twisted and lobotomized - but they're still people, basically."