if you are not park jimin, please pass this letter onto him at ____. thank you.
park jimin, my first and last.
i just want to tell you, before anything else. is that i'm sorry and on the blood moon a few nights ago. i regained all my memories.
you are probably disappointed in me. for ignoring the diary which you had spend time to think about. for suiciding, giving up on all hope. for leaving you to work all by yourself until the other workers signed up at the cafe.
i didn't mean to hurt you in anyway. and even though, by now i must be dead. i want you to know that on that day after my birthday, i'm sorry for not reading the diary and running back to you. and i also want you to know, that since the day we kissed on my birthday, and even before that. i have always loved you. your smile, your cheeks, the little sparkles you have in your eyes whenever you talk and the soft blush you grow whenever you tie my apron.
i loved everything about you, absolutely everything. from your soul to your the bones in your toes, strange, i know but i love it all. even when you're too kind and then you get taken advantage of. i love that aspect because you're so generous. you're an actual angel jimin. but i hope you've changed for that because as i said ten years ago. the world isn't as pure as you park jimin. you're simply too good for this world, both heaven, earth and most definitely, hell.
and that's the reason why i left you. i left you because i believed and convinced myself i was not good enough for you. because i had already been tainted. raped by my own father, a sick and vile man. and i didn't want you to be with someone like me. you must think this is a stupid reason and you probably don't care or haven't even thought of me since the past ten years. but i just need to tell you everything so you won't be confused (or maybe you don't even care), why i killed myself.
honestly speaking. you were apart of the reason why i suicided. i'm not blaming it on you, because it's 100% my fault. i was love sick, even after i had lost all memory of you, my body would still yearn for you and i eventually grew into depression. acting content and happy whenever someone was present. but i wasn't, i wasn't happy. my body wasn't happy, without you it wasn't.
when i saw you on the second story of your well-grown cafe. your face was flooded with happiness and you were smiling so bright with that baby in the small hands that you owned (something i would find myself squealing about sometimes). and that woman sitting aside you, she was etched with bliss and happiness as well. when i saw you like that... i couldn't help but feel stupid for thinking that you would still love me.
i mean, come on yoongi, it's been ten years... do you really think he'll still care?
my heart shattered because you looked so complete. the white to my black, the absolute difference of how i was doing. and it drove me to being suicidal. it's only been at least three weeks since i saw you on the second floor, but you have no idea how many dangerous thoughts crossed my mind. it was driving me crazy, my inner-self continuously told me that i was worthless, nobody wanted me and nobody cared for me. i've had enough, and the past few weeks have been an absolute pain.
before this i had never thought of hurting or doing anything to myself in any physical or psychological way. the only thing i would do would be write out my thoughts and feeling and just scribble on some piece of paper and then burn it later on.
sorry, this letter has gotten way too long. i'm sorry for wasting your time, reading this piece of rubbish.
any who, i wish your family best of luck in the future with your baby son and beautiful wife, i wish i had been there for the wedding and i wish that you'll accept my apologies. and i wish you the very best from now on.
monday, twenty-second, july, two-thousand and twenty-nine.
—min yoongi.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
this is my favourite picture of us ^
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
