BOYS OF SUBURBIA [boy x boy] [Wattys 2018]

✗THIRTY-FOUR ✗

The blood etched in Niko's fingernails had finally dried.

In the filtered dimness, Niko stretched his fingers, feeling the joint crack and creak in every single one of them. The edges of the nails were rimmed with rusting blood and the top jagged edges of his nails were splotched with splatters of red. The knuckles of his fingers were bruised with rings of purple on every protruding bone. He curled them into fists and released his fingers, watching the colour on his skin expand.

As his eyes lifted off his hand, he had come to realize he was in a park. He was lying on his back, eyes up and head lolled into the soft ground. The sun shone and the sky was a cheerful shade of robin blue with eggshell white clouds that inched across it. A gentle breeze stirred the blades of grass and he became aware that he was very much alone in the park.

Inexplicably afraid of what he might see, he stood up, dusted the grass off him, straightened up and craned his head behind him...no, not a soul. Absolutely no one around. Yes, he was definitely alone.

Confident now, he took a step forward and at once, his whole world slipped upside down. Niko felt himself falling and falling, falling until-

"Niko!"

The painful grip on his arm was what woke him up. The sight of Sebastian looking concerned, hovering above him, eyebrows knitted made him felt safe but Niko reached out and laced his hands around Sebastian's neck, pulled him down and kissed him hard on the lips to make sure he wasn't falling in his dream, to make sure he was safe. Sebastian's soft lips melted the coldness Niko had from the dream and just like that, all was normal.

Sebastian's nose gently rubbed against Niko's. Niko studied how Sebastian's mouth glistened with a distinct wetness. Sebastian's forehead was warm on Niko's. "Are you okay?" Niko saw Sebastian's mouth shaped out.

"I'm fine now," he promised and tugged Sebastian down onto him, letting Sebastian's weight and warmth enveloped him.

-

"I'm not sure," Denise's teeth tugged itself onto her lips, "I'm good enough with the stuff I'm already buying..."

"Yes maybe," Niko pushed on further, holding out the packet Don had told him to start bringing it into the market, "but these are exclusive! They just came on- and these are some of the newer ones; it's totally safe, I promise. Besides, doesn't the coolest girl has a reputation to keep with chasing the latest things?"

He could feel Denise prickling with indecision as she shifted from foot to foot. "I don't know."

Niko placed a hand on her shoulder- and felt her chest rise, breath sharpening, hard and harsh at the sudden contact, "Come on, Denise, you know I'll never give you things that will hurt you."

Denise nodded, licked her lips and smiled at Niko- wide and earnest, like a girl in love, and the guilt twisted the knife deeper in his gut. "Okay, okay. How much?"

"Now we're talking," he appraised, "Around 65 quid for a pop."

"Give me five." Niko did the mental calculation in his head and almost whistled. As Denise counted the large wad of cash she dug out from her Gucci purse, Niko's eyes searched Denise's room for Sebastian and found him chatting with Arissa again- laughing it seemed over something as they shared a cigarette.

"When did they became so chummy?" The thought accidentally spilled out of his mouth. Denise's gaze flitted to where he was looking at and a smile crept onto her face.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Denise's voice poured over the words like poison, "They're, like, besties now. Hanging in cafes, talking God-knows-what and smoking together. Don't they look cute?"

Niko doubt it was what like Denise described them to be- they were probably just friends and Sebastian was gay, for God's sake. He had nothing to worry about.

At least that was what he told himself.

-

the thing is niko, pansexuality exists OKAY

anyway, look at the amount of symbolism and foreshadowing this chapter has!!!

my english teacher would be proud. anyway, i'm thinking of coming up with another 'concept album' novel and this time it would be based around khalid's american teen? what do you think of it being 1995 with a lesbian couple? idk. just playing around.

please vote + comment. dedicated to almosts for having one of the best boyxboy books out there!